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Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them? v.2

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them? v. 2
In recent years rather than being well-informed about details of newly launched products, people are bombarded with all kinds of advertisements. I believe the excessive popularity of advertisements has profound influences on customers and there are some measures which can protect them. The increasing prevalence of advertising exerts several detrimental effects on consumers. First, commercials might stimulate people to purchase products that they do not really need. In order to approach prospective customers and create brand awareness, many enterprises tend to exaggerate the quality of their products. As a result, unwary consumers who are swayed by glamorous advertisements are easily tempted to impulsively buy goods that are of little use to them. Second, the rising popularity of advertising can also encourage people to form bad habits. For example, as youngsters are not mature enough to distinguish right from wrong or judge what is suitable within society, they might become addicted to playing video games if they are exposed to commercials promoting those products on a frequent basis. There are several approaches that should be taken into consideration to protect consumers from the adverse effects of advertising. Governments should impose a strict regulation on the advertising industry. Under stringent control, most businesses would be more responsible and truthful in promoting their products whether through online advertisements or commercial advertising on prime-time television. This would enable consumers to choose the most suitable and reliable products with greater trust and confidence. Additionally, consumers should have a thorough plan of what they are going to buy before they shop. By doing this, people will have time to prepare and make a wise decision about what products should be bought, which eventually save a great deal of money spent on unnecessary advertised goods. In conclusion, although the excessive prevalence of advertising brings a lot of disadvantages to consumers, there are several effective approaches to protect consumers from negative influences of advertising.
In recent years
rather
than being well-informed about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bombarded
with all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. I believe the excessive popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
has profound influences on customers and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures which can protect them.

The increasing prevalence of advertising exerts several detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
.
First
, commercials might stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that they do not
really
need. In order to approach prospective customers and create brand awareness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
enterprises tend to exaggerate the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
As a result
, unwary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
who
are swayed
by glamorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
easily
tempted to
impulsively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that are of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to them. Second, the rising popularity of advertising can
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
For example
, as youngsters are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to distinguish right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or judge what is suitable within society, they might become addicted to playing video games if they
are exposed
to commercials promoting those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on a frequent basis.

There are several approaches that should
be taken
into consideration to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
from the adverse effects of advertising.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should impose a strict regulation on the advertising industry. Under stringent control, most businesses would be more responsible and truthful in promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
whether through online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
or commercial advertising on prime-time television. This would enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to choose the most suitable and reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with greater trust and confidence.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
should have a thorough plan of what they are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they shop. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have time to prepare and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a wise decision about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
, which
eventually
save a great deal of money spent on unnecessary advertised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

In conclusion
, although the excessive prevalence of advertising brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
, there are several effective approaches to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences of advertising.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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