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Some think most crime is the result of circumstances e. g. poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some think most crime is the result of circumstances e. g. poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. v. 1
Friends play a crucial role in an individual's development. Some opine that one's should choose like-minded people as a friend who have similar views while others say that it is good to have friends who sometimes argue with them. This essay intends to analyse both perspectives. In my opinion, it is necessary that we have some time disagreement with our friends. On the one hand, some fraction of society believes that it is good if their friends have the same view with them. First and foremost, they can enjoy their company without any dispute. For example, my uncle has two friends, they all have an interest in reading so they frequently visit the library and discuss their opinions and gain more knowledge from each other. Moreover, research suggested that individuals who have identical ideas they establish healthy and everlasting relationships. One the other hand, another fraction of society supports that it is good if people have sometime conflicts. I also agree with them because anyone can get more ideas regarding single point. They can also see the other side of the coin. Furthermore, small dispute sometime not only strengthen their relationships, but also enhance the understanding between them. consequently, one can also identify their weaknesses as well as strong points. Besides, it is good in their career because in future they will meet any kind of people they can well adjust with them due to good interpersonal skills. To conclude, it is good for individuals that they have opposite view which is good for holistic development of personality. Therefore, they will learn for their attitudes and how can they develop good relationships with positive skills.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
play a crucial role in an individual's development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
opine that one's should choose like-minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who have similar views while others say that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argue with them. This essay intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both perspectives. In my opinion, it is necessary that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time disagreement with our friends.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fraction of society believes that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have the same view with them.
First
and foremost, they can enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
without any dispute.
For example
, my uncle has two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, they all have an interest in reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
frequently
visit the library and discuss their opinions and gain more knowledge from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Moreover
, research suggested that individuals who have identical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
they establish healthy and everlasting relationships.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, another fraction of society supports that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have sometime conflicts. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
regarding single point. They can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the coin.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
dispute sometime not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
strengthen their relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance the understanding between them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, one can
also
identify their weaknesses
as well
as strong points.
Besides
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in future they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
any kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they can well adjust with them due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for individuals that they have opposite view which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for holistic development of personality.
Therefore
, they will learn for their attitudes and how can they develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationships with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some think most crime is the result of circumstances e. g. poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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