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To what extent is the use of animals in scientific research acceptable? v.1

To what extent is the use of animals in scientific research acceptable? v.1
Nowadays more and more animals are used in the scientific research. Some people believe that it is unnecessary and unacceptable as the animals are also the beautiful creature of God while others think that these experiments are necessary to make human life easier and comfortable. According to some people, the scientific experiments on animals are totally unnecessary and irrelevant. They argue that there is a vast difference between the human body structure and the body of the animal. So the experiments done by scientists on animals are rarely effective. Also, they believe that the animals also have rights to live freely and naturally on the earth and we, as the humankind, do not have the power to treat them the way we want. On the other hand, most of the people have the view that these experiments on animals are necessary to make human life healthier and comfortable. Scientific researches have proved that some of the animals have a similar body structure that we have. So it is advisable and feasible to do experiments on animals first and perform some basic analysis and then start experiments on humans. This approach will cause less damage and cost for the research. Apart from this, it is really hard to find the human body for scientific experiments. So scientists do not have any other option because there are very few persons present in this world who are ready to make themselves available for these experiments. One of the best examples of this is the earlier space programs carried by NASA. In the first couple of attempts, they sent the space flight carrying dogs and evaluated the results and then decided to send the space rocket carrying humans. In conclusion, I prefer that the scientific experiments on animals are acceptable only if we do not have any other options available and also the government should implement rules and regulations to protect the identity of every animal used in such researches.
Nowadays more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is unnecessary and unacceptable as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
creature of God while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life easier and comfortable.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
totally
unnecessary and irrelevant. They argue that there is a vast difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
structure and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
done by scientists on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are rarely effective.
Also
, they believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
have rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freely
and
naturally
on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
earth and
we, as the humankind, do not have the power to treat them the way we want.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the view that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life healthier and comfortable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
have proved that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
structure that we have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is advisable and feasible to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
first
and perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic analysis and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This approach will cause less damage and cost for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. Apart from this, it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
scientists do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few persons present in this world who are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves available for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
. One of the best examples of this is the earlier space programs carried by NASA. In the
first
couple of attempts, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
the space flight carrying dogs and evaluated the results and then decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the space rocket carrying humans.

In conclusion
, I prefer that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are acceptable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if we do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options available and
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations to protect the identity of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay To what extent is the use of animals in scientific research acceptable? v.1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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