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While some people opine that computers have made our life more convenient and easier, others, however, oppose it and say that computers have actually made our life more complex and stressful. v.1

While some people opine that computers have made our life more convenient and easier, others, however, oppose it and say that computers have actually made our life more complex and stressful. v. 1
People have argued about the existence of computers. A group of people believe that computers are beneficial for human beings, while others think that computers have made their life become more difficult. I personally believe that computers are useful for people as long as they use them proportionately. For a number of reasons, some people believe that computers have made their life become more complicated. Firstly, with the invention of portable computers, many companies are expecting their employees to bring home those notebooks. Many employees have felt that the condition has negatively affected to their social life. Secondly, with the innovation of internet technology, people are working at a faster pace nowadays. It is believed that this condition has increased the stress level of many employers. However, another group of people think differently, as they believe that computers have assisted them in many aspects of their lives. With the existence of office application software, employees could easily process thousands of data in just a couple of hours. And then, with the online technology, people could stay connected with their business partners, family and relatives who live far away from them without the boundary of cost. Lastly, the computer could also be used as a platform for entertainment, as they could be utilised for playing video games, watching videos and surfing the internet. In conclusion, it is a fact that people have different opinions about computers. Some people believe that computer has a lot of positive sides, while others think that it has more negative sides for the human being. From my point of view, it is true that computer has its own advantages and disadvantages, but I believe that if people use is wisely, the benefits of computers will outweigh the drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have argued about the existence of computers. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that computers are beneficial for human beings, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that computers have made their life become more difficult. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that computers are useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as long as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
proportionately
.

For a number of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that computers have made their life become more complicated.
Firstly
, with the invention of portable computers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are expecting their employees to bring home those notebooks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
employees have felt that the condition has
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to their social life.
Secondly
, with the innovation of internet technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working at a faster pace nowadays. It
is believed
that this condition has increased the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers.

However
, another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
, as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that computers have assisted them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. With the existence of office application software, employees could
easily
process thousands of data in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a couple of hours. And then, with the online technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could stay connected with their business partners, family and relatives who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from them without the boundary of cost.
Lastly
, the computer could
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a platform for entertainment, as they could be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for playing video games, watching videos and surfing the internet.

In conclusion
, it is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that computer has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides for the human being. From my point of view, it is true that computer has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is
wisely
, the benefits of computers will outweigh the drawbacks.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay While some people opine that computers have made our life more convenient and easier, others, however, oppose it and say that computers have actually made our life more complex and stressful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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