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Education is one of the most important aspects of the development of a country. How can education be improved in your country? v.1

Education is one of the most important aspects of the development of a country. How can education be improved in your country? v. 1
Education is considered to be an essential factor in our lives. There are many ways by which education can be improved in my country. Chief among them are - the teachers’ continuous encouragement for students and the availability of interesting resources in the educational process. It is an indisputable fact that encouragement grants confidence.   In fact, most teachers pay no attention to this notion. In contrast, they must plant incentives in their students. For example, when a teacher encourages or praises a student for any positive thing, such student will feel comfortable and confident. Consequently, his learning appetite will dramatically increase which, in turn, will reflect his excellent performance in his study. A second factor that will develop education is the availability of interesting resources in the learning process. As a matter of fact, students begin to fed-up with the traditional way of learning since such method follows a routine basis. For this reason, it is the teachers’ responsibility to change this way of learning.   For example, teachers can bring entertaining materials within the class. In such way, students will be more interested and will concentrate much on their studies. Finally, the government should allocate more fund for the education sector as there are still many less developed educational institute in my country. The students should be encouraged by their parents and interactive ways of education should be available in most of the schools. To sum up, no one can ignore the importance of education. For this reason, there must be a constant encouragement for students and interesting methods for learning as well. Adopting the above ways will reap a generation of scientists of whom will shall take pride.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is considered
to be an essential factor in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in my country. Chief among them are
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
continuous encouragement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the availability of interesting resources in the educational process.

It is an indisputable fact that encouragement grants confidence.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In fact, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
pay no attention to this notion.
In contrast
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
plant incentives in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
encourages or praises a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
for any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will feel comfortable and confident.
Consequently
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
appetite will
dramatically
increase which, in turn, will reflect his excellent performance in his study.

A second factor that will develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the availability of interesting resources in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to fed-up with the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
since such method follows a routine basis.
For this reason
, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can bring entertaining materials within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be more interested and will concentrate much on their studies.

Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate more fund for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector as there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
less developed educational institute in my country. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be encouraged
by their parents and interactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be available in most of the schools.

To sum up, no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For this reason
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a constant encouragement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and interesting methods for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
as well
. Adopting the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
will reap a generation of scientists of whom will shall take pride.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Education is one of the most important aspects of the development of a country. How can education be improved in your country? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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