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Throughout the history, people dream to build a perfect society, while they haven’t agreed how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make the perfect society? How do people do to achieve an ideal society? v.1

Throughout the history, people dream to build a perfect society, while they haven’t agreed how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make the perfect society? How do people do to achieve an ideal society? v. 1
From the past decade, people wish to make an ideal society, but they never agreed about what it consists of. This essay will discuss about the key services which provided by the community, including equality, respect and how to build an ideal society. To begin with, one of the important reasons is that providing an equal opportunity to every person in the community. This will create an atmosphere where one should get the things base on their abilities. For example, a person can get admission in the college based on their result in the school, there is no such rules based on the cast they get the admission in the college having less score. Moreover, India is the diverse country as a result, different religion people are living, give the same respect for all the religions. Try to understand other beliefs which generate the respect for others. At last, creating equality and respect in the community, people can live their life happily. On the other hand, to build the ideal society an individual in the mankind gives effort. Firstly, one should start to use the services provided by the community, such as education and health. This will generate a future generation having skill and healthy life. For instance, research conducted shows that every person having good education serves the society by their knowledge. Furthermore, every person understands their role in the society, so never do any activity, which spoil the belief of the society like no criminal activity. Hence, everyone lives healthy and safe life in the community. In conclusion, to create an ideal society gives an equal opportunity and respect for all citizens consider as an ideal, although to build it the one should use the facility of education and health using that, they serve effectively to make the community perfect.
From the past decade,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
about what it consists of. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
key services which provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, including equality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and how to build an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons is that providing an equal opportunity to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. This will create an atmosphere where one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the things base on their abilities.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in the college based on their result in the school, there is no such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
based on the cast they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the admission in the college having less score.
Moreover
, India is the diverse country
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living, give the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
for all the religions. Try to understand other beliefs which generate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
for others. At last, creating equality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life
happily
.

On the other hand
, to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
an individual in the mankind gives effort.
Firstly
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the services provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, such as education and health. This will generate a future generation having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and healthy life.
For instance
, research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education serves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by their knowledge.
Furthermore
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
understands their role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
never do any activity, which spoil the belief of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
like no criminal activity.
Hence
, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
healthy and safe life in the community.

In conclusion
, to create an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
gives an equal opportunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
for all citizens consider as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
, although to build it the one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the facility of education and health using that, they serve
effectively
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
perfect.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Throughout the history, people dream to build a perfect society, while they haven’t agreed how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make the perfect society? How do people do to achieve an ideal society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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