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Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 2
Some people say that the authority ought to expend a lot of their funds on railway rather than roadways. In my opinion, I totally agree with that point of view because trains are faster and better for the environment. One reason is that the train system can help people to go wherever they want to go more quickly. It is because the passengers do not face traffic congestion on the road and the speed of the train is higher than other vehicles. Anyway, passengers can save their time doing some things like reading books or newspapers. In fact, the congestion will reduce and people are convenient. Another reason why more funds should be spent on railways than roadways is that it’s less harmful to the environment than cars. It is because of train can transport a lot of passengers and make the amount of cars decrease notably, so reducing the number of carbon emissions. If it is repeated every day over many different routes, the reduction in carbon is highly significant. For instance, Cambodia has developed railways across many provinces and also a neighbouring country such as Thailand. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is better for the state to spend money on the railway system in order to travel faster and make the environment less harmful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the authority ought to expend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
rather
than roadways. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are faster and better for the environment.

One reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
system can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to go wherever they want to go more
quickly
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the passengers do not face traffic congestion on the road and the speed of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is higher than other vehicles. Anyway, passengers can save their time doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things like reading books or newspapers. In fact, the congestion will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are convenient.

Another reason why more funds should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
than roadways is that it’s less harmful to the environment than cars. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
can transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
passengers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the amount of cars
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "decreases"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'decrease' is not always incorrect.)
decrease
notably
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
reducing the number of carbon emissions. If it
is repeated
every day over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
routes, the reduction in carbon is
highly
significant.
For instance
, Cambodia has developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
provinces and
also
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
country such as Thailand.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that it is better for the state to spend money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system in order to travel faster and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the environment less harmful.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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