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: It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

: It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 1
Raising children is always difficult and challenging for parents today. Some parents think that they should take part in parenting classes to become better parents. Others believe that it is unnecessary for parents to join in parenting training courses. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, these courses will help parents understand more about parenting methods. There are many benefits of parenting training courses. The main benefit is having a thorough grasp of the basic knowledge to bring up their children. Each child grows up with many different stages. So these courses can help parents learn how to take care of and prepare for the next stages. Next, parents have opportunities to update the latest scientific research because they are busy and hard to approach these research. They have a chance to reach the scientific method of parenting. Therefore, they can choose methods that suitable for their offspring. And another benefit of these classes is learning how to engage. The connection between parents and their children is a very important factor in children’s development. Parents should often ask, talk, listen to them, so children have motivate to make positive change. Lack of time can worsen their ability to understand their child psychology. This is the time for these courses to show their important role in helping to become better parents and grasp the psychology’s children. Furthermore, it is a place for parents to have more relationships and share experiences in bringing up offspring together. In conclusion, from the above benefits, we can sure that attending parental training courses is indispensable, especially parents who don’t have enough time to take care their sons and daughters.
Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is always difficult and challenging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
classes to become better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Others believe that it is unnecessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
understand more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
methods.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is having a thorough grasp of the basic knowledge to bring up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Each child grows up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
learn how to take care of and prepare for the
next
stages.
Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have opportunities to update the latest scientific research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are busy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to approach these research. They have a chance to reach the scientific method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
.
Therefore
, they can choose methods that suitable for their offspring. And another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of these classes is learning how to engage. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
ask, talk, listen to them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
Use past participle here: "motivated".
motivate
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Lack of time can worsen their ability to understand their child psychology. This is the time for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in helping to become better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grasp the psychology’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Furthermore
, it is a place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to have more relationships and share experiences in bringing up offspring together.

In conclusion
, from the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, we can sure that attending parental training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is indispensable,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to take care their sons and daughters.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay : It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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