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Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? v.2

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? v. 2
One of the most controversial issues today relates to at recent years, society is imagining that they are living in acceptable community, but they do not know how acceptable society will be such. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of concentration on society, culture and developing it in several sectors, such as Chinees community are caring about population culture in various scopes. Also, for several ages. Considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that for believing that is this establishment positively ideas and statements in everywhere. In addition, be far away from negatively and sadly persons in school, universities and daily life. For instance, if you have sadly friends, you have double opportunities, may you have to bring him opportunity advice, otherwise, let him be far away from you. It is also possible to say that asking children and adults to read in every filed at future. In addition, for that, making ready a lot of libraries and be it attractive for residents and visitors. Also, create a comfortable place for tourists to spend interesting time, like libraries that exists at universities approximately and be attention to development it. One good illustration of this is the cooperation between community members and this value initiate from a small family, and be careful of making that daily habit. For example, my friend working as a teacher, but when going back to home, she is cooking a lunch and cleaning the house. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact registration to sporting gum and making available for all. In addition, the fee should handle for all levels. That's mean it is not dramatically expensive, but must be average. People often have this opinion because putting structure for caring for children inside the gum like gum that near from my home. A second point is that caring of bodies to become healthy and low fat is an important issue for perfect community. A particularly good example here is Fitness Time Gum having a babysitter and it is available at any time. To sum up, as we have seen, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe that if we want to become a perfect society by strongly, we must initiate by ourselves then we require from other to become like this.
One of the most controversial issues
today
relates to at recent years,
society
is imagining
that they are living in acceptable
community
,
but
they do not know how acceptable
society
will be such. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view.

On one side of the argument there are
people
who argue that the benefits of concentration on
society
, culture and developing it in several sectors, such as
Chinees
community
are caring about population culture in various scopes.
Also
, for several ages.
Considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that for believing
that is
this establishment
positively
ideas
and statements in everywhere.
In addition
, be far away from
negatively
and
sadly
persons in school, universities and daily life.
For instance
, if you have
sadly
friends, you have double opportunities, may you
have to
bring him opportunity advice,
otherwise
,
let
him be far away from you. It is
also
possible to say that asking children and adults to read in every filed at future.
In addition
, for that, making ready
a lot of
libraries and be it attractive for residents and visitors.
Also
, create a comfortable place for tourists to spend interesting time, like libraries that exists at universities approximately and be attention to development it. One
good
illustration of this is the cooperation between
community
members and this value initiate from a
small
family, and be careful of making that daily habit.
For example
, my friend working as a teacher,
but
when going back to home, she is cooking a lunch and cleaning the
house
.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
make
the opposing case. It is
often
argued that in fact registration to sporting gum and making available for all.
In addition
, the fee should handle for all levels. That's mean it is not
dramatically
expensive,
but
must
be average.
People
often
have this opinion
because
putting structure for caring for children inside the gum like gum that
near from my
home. A second point is that caring of bodies to become healthy and low
fat
is an
important
issue for perfect
community
. A
particularly
good
example here is Fitness
Time


Gum having a babysitter and it is available at any time.

To sum up, as we have
seen
, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that if we want to become a perfect
society
by
strongly
, we
must
initiate by ourselves then we require from other to become like this.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
424 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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