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Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development. v.14

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development. v. 14
Technology becomes an important part of the human being. Nowadays, some universities cater courses to the students to study at home through online. In my opinion, it is a positive trend studying online. However, there are drawback in online is studying. Home study through online are common today, which the students can benefit. The student can manage one's time in a flexible way. For example, here in the Philippines, young artist cannot enrol in a regular university because of the busy schedule, which make them enrol in online courses. While working, still they can gain academic knowledge, even outside the university. Moreover, the cost of education will be lessened, since virtual classroom will be needed less materials and equipment than the traditional classroom. Also, the students can choose if how many units they want to enrol for the semester. On the other hand, the disadvantages for the student studying through the internet is, there will be no face to face interaction with the professor, which makes more difficult for the students to understand the subject. Teachers play an important role to guide the students and give motivation during the school days. In addition, students studying online will have less chances to interact with classmates, which may lead to affect the interpersonal skills of the student. In conclusion, studying online has a positive development, it can give high numbers of literate individuals in today's generation. And al the number of unemployed will decrease.
Technology becomes an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the human being. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
universities cater courses to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study at home through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
However
, there are drawback in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is studying.

Home study through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can benefit. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can manage one's time
Consider replacing "in a flexible way" with the adverb for "flexible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a flexible way
.
For example
, here in the Philippines, young artist cannot enrol in a regular university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the busy schedule, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them enrol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses. While working,
still
they can gain academic knowledge, even outside the university.
Moreover
, the cost of education will
be lessened
, since virtual classroom will
be needed
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun materials is countable.
less
materials and equipment than the traditional classroom.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can choose if how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
units they want to enrol for the semester.

On the other hand
, the disadvantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
through the internet is, there will be no face to face interaction with the professor, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand the subject. Teachers play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and give motivation during the school days.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances to interact with classmates, which may lead to affect the interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the student.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, it can give high numbers of literate individuals in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation. And
Possible spelling mistake found.
al
the number of unemployed will decrease.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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