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5. Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society? v.2

With the time period, living style of the people has also changed. Therefore, everyone wants to live in a better society no one knows that should look like. This essay will describe about the vitual elements to make a society perfect by using them, we can make our community better. To initiate with important elements needed to make a society perfect. Firstly, by providing them better residential area. Secondly, by making a good environment for the individuals such as parks, yoga centre etc. Because everyone wants to live fit in their life. Moreover, neighourhood also plays an essential role in everyone life. Because they are more closer to them, by providing each and every facility that easily can help the neughours easily. Moving further, ideal society can be achieved. Predominantely, by making the rules and regulation from that they can impose everything according to laws. And, if strict laws are impliminated that help in reducing pollution which effect the people's health most. Secondly, by spending money on society because this can help them making better lifestyle like, parks in the community can get closer to their neighourhood, where they can know about the people live near houses. In a nutshell, society plays an important role in people life because good society can help help the pupil to make their life better. So, providing all necessary facilities to them.
With the time period, living style of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Therefore
, everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
no one knows that should look like. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vitual
elements to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
perfect by using them, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our community better.

To initiate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
elements needed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
perfect.
Firstly
, by providing them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
residential area.
Secondly
, by making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for the individuals such as parks, yoga
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
etc.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
fit in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
neighourhood
also
plays an essential role in everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they are
Use only “closer” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more closer
to them, by providing each and every facility that
easily
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
neughours
easily
. Moving
further
, ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can
be achieved
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Predominantely
, by making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation from that they can impose everything according to laws. And, if strict laws are
Possible spelling mistake found.
impliminated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in reducing pollution which effect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health most.
Secondly
, by spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
The verb ‘because’ is used with an infinitive: “to make” or “make”.
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle like, parks in the community can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
neighourhood
, where they can know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the pupil to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, providing all necessary facilities to them.
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IELTS essay Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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