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Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society? v.11

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society? v. 11
The neighbourhood is always looked while moving from one place to another. Although everyone wants to live in a good community, but never assumed the elements that a resident should have. I believe that the natives should be well educated, honest and kind to others. To begin with, a good person is just according to his nature and behaviour. So, citizens of a society should be kind to their neighbours in different ways. Meanwhile, everyone should help each other to overcome several problems, like related to money or health. Also, one should be honest to others. For example, if a neighbour forgot his wallet at your home, you should return it to the owner without looking into it. Secondly, well educated inhabitants result in higher opportunities of jobs and also the civilisation would be full of knowledge and skills. Thus, it directly decreases and employment and increases the economic rate of that area. Finally, a literate person always knows how to keep him and his surrounding clean which leads to clean environment. Thus, a clean community result in a healthy society. Furthermore, several measures should be taken by government and individuals to create faultless inhabitant for locals. At first, the government should build schools, colleges and hospitals to every needy areas to support educational systems. Likewise individual should attend such schools to get education and various moral values. Additionally, the hospital's lead to have a healthy environment by treating the petitioners on time because of the good neighbours. As ideal locals try to help the weak people to reach hospitals as soon as possible. To summarise, the important features of a good locality in this ever expanding world are the education of the inhabitants and their nature. For the same, the people should work together to form such kind societies all over the world.
The
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is always looked while moving from one place to another. Although everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never assumed the elements that a resident should have. I believe that the natives should be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
, honest and kind to others.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
according to his nature and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, citizens of a society should be kind to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. Meanwhile, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to overcome several problems, like related to money or health.
Also
, one should be honest to others.
For example
, if a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
forgot his wallet at your home, you should return it to the owner without looking into it.
Secondly
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
inhabitants result in higher opportunities of jobs and
also
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
would be full of knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Thus
, it
directly
decreases and employment and increases the economic rate of that area.
Finally
, a literate person always knows how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
him and his surrounding clean which leads to clean environment.
Thus
, a clean community result in a healthy society.

Furthermore
, several measures should
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals to create faultless inhabitant for locals. At
first
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should build schools, colleges and hospitals to every needy areas to support educational systems.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
individual should attend such schools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education and various moral values.
Additionally
, the hospital's lead to have a healthy environment by treating the petitioners on time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
ideal locals try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the weak
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to reach hospitals as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
features of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
locality in this ever expanding world are the education of the inhabitants and their nature. For the same, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should work together to form such kind societies all over the world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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