Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 15
There are different kinds of sports such as volleyball, cricket, football in such sports one needs the party to play with each other while there are certain sports that don't need any organization such games are tennis, swimming, badminton. In my opinion, it is advantageous to participate in those games which are played in teams. Firstly, playing with club members it helps to build good communication skills, as well as one group member can learn important skills, techniques related to that game from other group members. For instance, one of my friends started to play football since she was 9 years old due to that she is now bolder and she learned important methodologies in that game. Subsequently, playing with side members it gives pleasure and more fun rather than playing on their own. Besides these advantages, there is one more benefit of playing those games which need organization members and that is we can make good friends and socialize with them. In contrast, individual sports are sometimes far better in terms of without relying on other members to win the game. Every individual has to put their efforts without depending on each other. In unit sports, if few individuals do not play well then whole club members have to suffer. For example, my brother who played a Human knot game in his school time he loses the game because of that one unfitted guy. So, this is the best example of an individual sports game. On the other hand, in an individual sport, one needs to showcase its capabilities and capacity in the field. In conclusion, both organization and individual sport games are preferable, but I prefer to play sports which are played in teams because it gives feeling joy, enjoyment and it helps to build in every perspective.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as volleyball, cricket, football in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
the party to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
while there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
any organization such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are tennis, swimming, badminton. In my opinion, it is advantageous to participate in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which
are played
in teams.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
as well
as one group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, techniques related to that game from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
For instance
, one of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
football since she was 9 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
due to that she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bolder and
she learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
methodologies in that game.
Subsequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
it gives pleasure and more fun
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Besides
these advantages, there is one more benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
organization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and
that is
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends and socialize with them.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
far better in terms of without relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to win the game. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
put their efforts without depending on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In unit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, if few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
well then whole club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer.
For example
, my brother who played a Human knot game in his school time he loses the game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that one unfitted guy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is the best example of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
game. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to showcase its capabilities and capacity in the field.

In conclusion
, both organization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are preferable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which
are played
in teams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives feeling joy, enjoyment and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build in every perspective.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts