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thevline graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian from 1975 to 2000. v.1

thevline graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian from 1975 to 2000. v. 1
Recently, the number of people who purchase various brand and service online is increasing more than ever before. These have certainly affected the business of shopping. It is without any reservation that the topic of online shopping has been at the forefront and widely debated. A careful analysis with insight would lead me to believe that the positive of its eclipse negative. My view is not out of blue prospect, but it has a reason which is based on cogent and strong foundations. The first resin that is at the Zenith of my thinking pyramid is that e shopping is generally considered to be more convenient for the customer than in store purchases. Nowadays, many people are not having adequate time to go for shopping, as they are too busy with their professional life. It can also be limpidly observed that Amazon, flip cart, eBay provides the wide range of products online which cater to the need of the individual from the comfort of their home. Online shopping can allow the people to compare different products, prices, and their features. The online shopping has its pros like people don't like a product they just returned and buy a new one. Where as the in store shopping takes more time to buy and chose product during a festival time. Moreover, there is some mind who has one eighty view about his opinion. They claim that the in shopping are a better option because people can touch and try the product and if it is a service they can see a demo of it. So that the people have not waited for return delivery. People siding with antipodal aspect say that social experience of certain people and many of them enjoy shopping as entertainment. To be recapitulate, unexplainable, infinite, contradiction is the inherent nature of world. Everything under the sun has its advantages and disadvantages, after looking at the above point I firmly reassert that it is the interests of the people to buy a brand and service through online.
Recently, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
various brand and service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is increasing more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. These have
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the business of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. It is without any reservation that the topic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has been at the forefront and
widely
debated. A careful analysis with insight would lead me to believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
of its eclipse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

My view is not out of blue prospect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has a reason which
is based
on cogent and strong foundations. The
first
resin
that is
at the Zenith of my thinking pyramid is that e
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
generally
considered to be more convenient for the customer than in store
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not having adequate time to go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, as they are too busy with their professional life. It can
also
be
limpidly
observed that Amazon, flip cart, eBay provides the wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
which cater to the need of the individual from the comfort of their home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to compare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, prices, and their features.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has its pros like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
returned and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new one.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
the in store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
takes more time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
during a festival time.
Moreover
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mind who has one eighty view about his opinion. They claim that the in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are a better option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can touch and try the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and if it is a service they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a demo of it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not waited for return delivery.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
siding with antipodal aspect say that social experience of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as entertainment.

To be
Consider using a past participle here: "recapitulated".
recapitulate
, unexplainable, infinite, contradiction is the inherent nature of world. Everything under the sun has its advantages and disadvantages, after looking at the above point I
firmly
reassert that it is the interests of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a brand and service through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay thevline graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian from 1975 to 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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