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These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become a criminal or not by examining the child at the age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals? v.1

These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become a criminal or not by examining the child at the age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals? v. 1
Crime is the prime element present all around in our society in recent times. Science has expanded its influence on several concepts. However, judging the children's character by the time they reach three years seems implausible. The surroundings in which the child grows will definitely have its impact, but no child is born criminal. We can shape the future of children to an extent, but there are numerous factors that influence them at every stage of life. I totally agree with the fact that we, humans, have invented crime because of our needs and inadequacy of resources. For instance, a child born in a well-to-do family might not come across crime incidents till a certain age where as a child born in a lower socioeconomic area will be exposed to crime incidents on a smaller scale at an early age. Children don't understand the intensity of the crime incidents unless heard or explained by adults. Exposure to crime on television or a live incident or some other source can leaves the impact on children, which further moulds the child's thought process. Although the environment at home is completely positive, children can get influenced by crime irrespective of their age. Education, surroundings and upbringing are the key factors that shape children right from the beginning to a large extent. So certifying a child whether he will be a criminal or not at the age of three is not sensible. On the other hand, high cost of living, economic disparities among the rich and the poor and social discrimination are the reasons for the increasing crime rate. Most of the crimes are committed as they lack the minimum standards of life which proves that human activities have created the crime and criminals in the society. Providing a good education, creating awareness and inducing social responsibility right from the childhood might save the future generations from being criminals. In addition to this, children who come out of juveniles have led normal lives and have grown into professionals and responsible citizens. Hence proves that the future of the child can be shaped avoiding crime. In summary, every child will have a different journey growing up which decides their future. I strongly disagree with the statement that scientists can decide the child's character at the age of three. As explained above, though humans are the creators of crime, it is definitely possible to save a child from the influence of crime to a certain extent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is the prime element present all around in our society in recent times. Science has expanded its influence on several concepts.
However
, judging the children's character by the time they reach three years seems implausible. The surroundings in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
grows will definitely have its impact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
. We can shape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to an extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are numerous factors that influence them at every stage of life. I
totally
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
we, humans, have invented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our needs and inadequacy of resources.

For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
born in a well-to-do family might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
till a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
born in a lower socioeconomic area will
be exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
on a smaller scale at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
don't understand the intensity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
unless heard or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by adults. Exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on television or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incident
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other source can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "leave"
leaves
the impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which
further
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulds' is British English.
moulds
the child's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process. Although the environment at home is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
irrespective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Education, surroundings and upbringing are the key factors that shape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
right from the beginning to a large extent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
certifying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
whether he will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
or not at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of three is not sensible.

On the other hand
, high cost of living, economic disparities among the rich and the poor and social discrimination are the reasons for the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are committed
as they lack the minimum standards of life which proves that human activities have created the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the society. Providing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education, creating awareness and inducing social responsibility right from the childhood might save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations from being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of juveniles have led normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and have grown into professionals and responsible citizens.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
proves that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can
be shaped
avoiding crime.

In summary, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
journey growing up which decides their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. I
strongly
disagree with the statement that scientists can decide the child's character at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of three. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above, though humans are the creators of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, it is definitely possible to save a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
from the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to a certain extent.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become a criminal or not by examining the child at the age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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