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An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the problems associated with and some possible solutions? v.9

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the problems associated with and some possible solutions? v. 9
Many white-collar workers who are employed in underdeveloped and developing countries are moving to affluent nations, possibly because of the lucrative job options and better work condition. There are, however, several factors which do not work in its favor. This essay in the forthcoming paragraphs will discuss the issues linked to it and provide a possible solution of this trend. Brain drain has become a rising problem nowadays because of relatively stagnant salary and gruelling schedule, but this approach is impeding the economic growth and inhibiting the chances of lifting the standard of living. Lack of veterans in training centres has hampered the quality education which resulted in acquisition of poor knowledge amongst the learners. For example, many doctors, teachers and other working professionals do not have enough understanding about the fundamentals of areas of their expertise. Hence, jeopardising the future of the next generation. I believe, this situation can be tackled by provision of high pay, respect, satisfactory infrastructure and adequate work facilities these professionals deserve. Though it seems elusive to suffice all the needs, however, most of it can be easily accomplished. For instance, if these experts are not criticised and paid comparatively attractive income, they might consider staying in their homeland, in addition to that, people should be educated to appreciate their efforts and time they devote, leaving their comforts. Therefore, to hold the talent where it originated from, joint efforts ought to be taken. It can only be curbed if above mentioned are followed. To conclude, it is advocated that a plight of a country can be improved only then when every individual participate in it's growth. A nation thrives with its people.
Many
white-collar workers who
are employed
in underdeveloped and
developing countries
are moving to affluent nations,
possibly
because
of the lucrative job options and better work condition. There are,
however
, several factors which do not work in its favor. This essay in the forthcoming paragraphs will discuss the issues linked to it and provide a possible solution of this trend.

Brain drain has become a rising problem nowadays
because
of
relatively
stagnant salary and
gruelling
schedule,
but
this approach is impeding the economic growth and inhibiting the chances of lifting the standard of living. Lack of veterans in training
centres
has hampered the quality education which resulted in acquisition of poor knowledge amongst the learners.
For example
,
many
doctors, teachers and other working professionals do not have
enough
understanding about the fundamentals of areas of their expertise.
Hence
,
jeopardising
the future of the
next
generation.

I believe, this situation can
be tackled
by provision of high pay, respect, satisfactory infrastructure and adequate work facilities these professionals deserve. Though it seems elusive to suffice all the needs,
however
, most of it can be
easily
accomplished.
For instance
, if these experts are not
criticised
and paid
comparatively
attractive income, they might consider staying in their homeland,
in addition
to that,
people
should
be educated
to appreciate their efforts and time they devote, leaving their comforts.
Therefore
, to hold the talent where it originated from, joint efforts ought to
be taken
. It can
only
be curbed
if above mentioned
are followed
.

To conclude
, it
is advocated
that a plight of a country can be
improved
only
then when every individual participate
in it's growth
. A nation thrives with its
people
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the problems associated with and some possible solutions? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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