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Some scientists believe that studying the behaviour of 3-year-old children can tell which children would grow up to be criminals. To what extent in your opinion is crime a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be cri v.1

Some scientists believe that studying the behaviour of 3-year-old children can tell which children would grow up to be criminals. 1
According to some people it is unjust to retired people, belonging to different professions at the same age. Certain professions need release at an earlier age compared to others. I agree to this statement as different jobs have different levels of physical parameters and they cannot be measured in the same parameters. On the one hand, few jobs which require extensive physical activity and cause wear and tear of the muscles, exhaust the workers at any earlier age. For instance, people working in coal mines or farmers doing agriculture having excessive exposure to sunlight are fatigued at an earlier age so need release from job earlier. on the other hand, other jobs like teachers and research scientists require wide working experience. The old and the more experienced they are, the more benefits they can provide to the system and government. Hence, every job can not be measured with same yardstick, some cause early physical disability and need to retire earlier. There are certain types of work which need early retirement either due to physical limitation of worker or to avoid prolonged exposure to potentially dangerous chemicals and compounds. For instance, factories and road construction companies require extensive physical exertion so these people cannot work above 50 years of age, hence early retirement would be beneficial to them. Similarly, Coal miners are exposed to coal, which is carcinogenic and people working in fields who have exposure to sunlight have the chances to develop skin cancer. This can only be avoided by if they retire at an early age. In conclusion, the age of retirement should be adjusted according to the job description of the person and it cannot be the same for every person as it will adversely affect their health and this is the only way government can benefit from the experience of teachers and research scientists.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it is unjust to retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, belonging to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professions at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Certain professions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
release at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
compared to others. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parameters and
they cannot
be measured
in the same parameters.

On the one hand, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which require extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and cause wear and tear of the muscles, exhaust the workers at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in coal mines or farmers doing agriculture having excessive exposure to sunlight
are fatigued
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
release from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like teachers and research scientists require wide working experience. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and the more experienced they are, the more benefits they can provide to the system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Hence
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can not
be measured
with same yardstick,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
disability and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to retire earlier.

There are certain types of work which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
retirement either due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
limitation of worker or to avoid prolonged exposure to
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
chemicals and compounds.
For instance
, factories and road construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exertion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot work above 50 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
retirement would be beneficial to them.
Similarly
, Coal miners
are exposed
to coal, which is carcinogenic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in fields who have exposure to sunlight have the chances to develop skin cancer. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be avoided
by if they retire at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of retirement should
be adjusted
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
description of the person and it cannot be the same for every person as it will
adversely
affect their health and this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can benefit from the experience of teachers and research scientists.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some scientists believe that studying the behaviour of 3-year-old children can tell which children would grow up to be criminals. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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