Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. you phoned the shop but no action was taken. write a letter to shop manager. in your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain what happened when you phoned the shop say what you would like the manager to do v.1

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. you phoned the shop but no action was taken. write a letter to shop manager. in your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain what happened when you phoned the shop say what you would like the manager to do v. 1
In this information era, due to the advanced technology, it is quite common for people to socialize on the Internet. It is a positive trend, but meanwhile a series of problems also occur as a result. The advantages of social networking are obvious. People can enlarge the circle of friends, as there are no geographical restrictions. A good example of that is a Taiwanese student can discuss a latest film with a British student on the Internet, which they can exchange ideas much easier than face-to-face discussion. Also, people can make some virtual friends, who have the same interests as them. It is an effective way that people could have a better understanding of history, culture and customs from different regions. In addition, various people feel more comfortable when they socialize online. Many of them rather communicate with strangers on the web than invite their friends into their houses for a chat. However, the problems relevant to socialize on the web should not be ignored. People’s social life seems to be dominated by the Internet. There is a huge number of people live in virtual space and ignore the communication with others in real life. For instance, some young people rarely see their relatives or friends in real life and they only talk on the Internet. As a consequence, their relationships become alienated. What is worse is that a growing number of people get addicted to socializing in the virtual space, which affects the development of their social skills. These people may become isolated and have difficulty in communicating Overall, it is unavoidable that people spend more time interacting with their friends, but we should take measures to control our screen time. Apart from this, due to the communicate technology, which is considered as a symbol of progress in this fast-changed world. However, how to tackle the consequence problems is still a challenge.
In this information era, due to the advanced technology, it is quite common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to socialize on the Internet. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
meanwhile a series of problems
also
occur
as a result
.

The advantages of social networking are obvious.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can enlarge the circle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, as there are no geographical restrictions. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of
that is
a Taiwanese student can discuss
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest film with a British student on the Internet, which they can exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
much easier than face-to-face discussion.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, who have the same interests as them. It is an effective way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could have a better understanding of history, culture and customs from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions.
In addition
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more comfortable when they socialize online.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them
rather
communicate with strangers on the web than invite their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for a chat.

However
, the problems relevant to socialize on the web should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
social life seems to
be dominated
by the Internet. There is a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in virtual space and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the communication with others in real life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their relatives or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in real
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talk on the Internet. As a consequence, their relationships become alienated. What is worse is that a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to socializing in the virtual space, which affects the development of their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may become isolated and have difficulty in communicating

Overall
, it is unavoidable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more time interacting with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should take measures to control our screen time. Apart from this, due to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'communicate' is correct. If 'communicate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the communicate
technology, which
is considered
as a symbol of progress in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
world.
However
, how to tackle the consequence problems is
still
a challenge.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. you phoned the shop but no action was taken. write a letter to shop manager. in your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain what happened when you phoned the shop say what you would like the manager to do v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts