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These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become a criminal or not by examining the child at the age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals? v.2

These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become a criminal or not by examining the child at the age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals? v. 2
Technologies like brain-mapping and psychoanalysis have enabled scientists to predict accurately whether a child will grow up to be a miscreant in the society or not. Such discoveries have sparked a debate whether crime is an aspect of human nature and I am totally against this belief. In my opinion, children can be described as blank canvases, upon which, society creates a vivid portrait that affects them deeply. To illustrate this, a social experiment was conducted recently, where two subjects, from an early age, are brought up in two contrasting conditions. Whereas, one subject is exposed to harsh conditions and poor parenting, the other subject is nurtured in a caring family. It is noted that, as both the subjects grow up, there is a tendency of violence in the first subject. Hence, it can safely be said that the upbringing of a child has a higher influence on its behaviour than human nature. Coming to the next question, crime can be prevented if we start nurturing children in good environments right from their infant stages. For example, some countries also have organisations that regularly check up on families to assess whether the children are being brought up in a healthy environment. Furthermore, education should be made compulsory for all children in order to eradicate criminal tendencies from a very young age. To conclude, addressing crime as a human nature does not solve the issue of criminal activities. It is up to us, as human beings and torchbearers, to find ways in order to remove criminal tendencies amongst growing children by providing them with nourishment, both physically and mentally.
Technologies like brain-mapping and psychoanalysis have enabled scientists to predict
accurately
whether a child will grow up to be a miscreant in the society or not. Such discoveries have sparked a debate whether crime is an aspect of
human
nature and
I am
totally
against this belief.

In my opinion,
children
can be
described
as blank canvases, upon which, society creates a vivid portrait that affects them
deeply
. To illustrate this, a social experiment
was conducted
recently, where two
subjects
, from an early age,
are brought
up in two contrasting conditions. Whereas, one
subject
is exposed
to harsh conditions and poor parenting, the other
subject
is nurtured
in a caring family. It
is noted
that, as both the
subjects
grow up, there is a tendency of violence in the
first
subject
.
Hence
, it can
safely
be said
that the upbringing of a child has a higher influence on its
behaviour
than
human
nature.

Coming to the
next
question, crime can be
prevented
if we
start
nurturing
children
in
good
environments right from their infant stages.
For example
,
some
countries
also
have
organisations
that
regularly
check
up on families to assess whether the
children
are
being brought
up in a healthy environment.
Furthermore
, education should
be made
compulsory for all
children
in order to eradicate criminal tendencies from a
very
young age.

To conclude
, addressing crime as a
human
nature does not solve the issue of criminal activities. It is up to us, as
human
beings and torchbearers, to find ways in order to remove criminal tendencies amongst growing
children
by providing them with nourishment, both
physically
and mentally.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, scientists can tell whether a child will become a criminal or not by examining the child at the age of three. Do you agree that crime is a product of human nature? Do you think we can stop children from becoming criminals? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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