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These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. v.8

These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. v. 8
Nowadays, in many cases, people have to make lots of decisions regarding their career. Some people prefer to work in many places and gain life experiences while others argue that this is not always optimal. Is it really beneficial to be involved in many occupations or is it better to follow your dream path having only the favourite job? In this essay, both advantages and disadvantages of having many jobs will be reviewed and the author's opinion provided. I will start by analysing the advantages of changing career several times during the lifetime. One of the greatest benefits of having more than one job is that it is easier to earn money. Generally speaking, many students find an occupation so as to be able to become independent from their parents in terms of money. Although they find some trivial jobs, such as being a cleaner, they can become professional specialists after having finished their studies. Another major positive aspect is that people are able to focus on their main job and additionally do something else after their work which might be more interesting. In my experience, I used to work as a software developer for an enterprise and read lectures at a university. It was beneficial due to fact that I earned enough money and it was exciting to share my knowledge with students. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages too - one of them being the inability to concentrate on your career goals. For instance, it can be pretty difficult to devote yourself to the work that is the most important to you because either you may not prioritise your jobs or you lack time. Therefore, noteworthy is the fact that it becomes much harder to acquire the required experience. Another significant drawback of having many jobs is that the life-work balance deteriorates. For example, for many, people feel inferior if they lack qualification in their new occupation. It is quite a frequent situation as it is tough to gain a wide variety of work experience. In conclusion, the pros and cons of having and switching many jobs were described. In my view, the disadvantages outweigh disadvantages and it is suggested that people should work in many places only if they need money or only temporarily due to other causes.
Nowadays, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lots of decisions regarding their career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places and gain life experiences while others argue that this is not always optimal. Is it
really
beneficial to
be involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
occupations or is it better to follow your dream path
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
? In this essay, both advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will
be reviewed
and the author's opinion provided.

I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the advantages of changing career several times during the lifetime. One of the greatest benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is that it is easier to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Generally
speaking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students find an occupation
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be able to become
The usual collocation for "independent" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independent of"?
independent from
their parents in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Although they find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trivial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, such as being a cleaner, they can become professional specialists after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
finished their studies.

Another major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to focus on their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
additionally
do something else after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which might be more interesting. In my experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a software developer for an enterprise and read lectures at a university. It was beneficial due to fact that I earned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and it was exciting to share my knowledge with students.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
one of them being the inability to concentrate on your career goals.
For instance
, it can be pretty difficult to devote yourself to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that is
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
either you may not
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or you lack time.
Therefore
, noteworthy is the fact that it becomes much harder to acquire the required experience.

Another significant drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is that the life-work balance deteriorates.
For example
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel inferior if they lack qualification in their new occupation. It is quite a frequent situation as it is tough to gain a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience.

In conclusion
, the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
and switching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
. In my view, the disadvantages outweigh disadvantages and it
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
temporarily
due to other causes.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, people work in more than one job and often change career several times during their life. v. 8

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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