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These days, people change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantagesof this? v.1

These days, people change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantagesof this? v. 1
Nowadays, in many cases, people especially youth are changing their career path in most often. Some people prefer to work in different working environment and get kinds of experience while many argue that this is not always optimal. But, what are the pros of doing this and, what are the drawbacks? The aim of this essay is to discuss the advantages of changing career several times in life as well as the unwelcome ones. Those in favour of this opinion have a number of points to support their point of view. If the workers change their work nature in most often, their productivity will be less and less. Because to familiar with the new position and duties, it takes at least six months to fix in new role. If we look to the side of employer, she/he may be worried about to engage in work. They may think, this kind of staffs will not be stay in the new position for very long and unwillingness to hire. On the other hand, those who oppose the view mentioned above offer their own points as well. The manufactures who have experience in various sectors can bring the different knowledges and ways of working. They can be the managers and can have various sources because they may have a broaden network what can also support to get another jobs when they quite from present ones. In conclusion, there are clearly both positive and negative side of switching the jobs most often. While, staying in one workplace makes you more profession in job, many unfavourable things can affect your future. In my opinion, changing the occupations can bring the better opportunities.
Nowadays, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
youth are changing their career path in most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
working environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
kinds of experience while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that this is not always optimal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, what are the pros of doing this and, what are the drawbacks? The aim of this essay is to discuss the advantages of changing career several times in life
as well
as the unwelcome ones.

Those in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this opinion have a number of points to support their point of view. If the workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their work nature in most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, their productivity will be less and less.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
to familiar with the new position and duties, it takes at least six months to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
in new role. If we look to the side of employer, she/he may
be worried
about to engage in work. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, this kind of staffs will not be
Consider using a past participle here: "staid", "stayed".
stay
in the new position for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long and unwillingness to hire.

On the other hand
, those who oppose the view mentioned above offer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
points
as well
. The manufactures who have experience in various sectors can bring the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
and ways of working. They can be the managers and can have various sources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may have
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'broaden' is correct. If 'broaden' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a broaden
network what can
also
support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
another jobs when they quite from present ones.

In conclusion
, there are
clearly
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of switching the jobs most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. While, staying in one workplace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you more profession in job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
things can affect your future. In my opinion, changing the occupations can bring the better opportunities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay These days, people change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantagesof this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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