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Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
College is the place where student get opportunity to gain knowledge and experiences. Every people have different reasons behind attending college, some people are attend college to continue study further after graduation; some may want to study to flip their career to other path, and some people do study to get better job. No matter what people attend college for, in my opinion, studying in a college prepares us for future. First of all, students can learn new skills and have new experiences while studying in college. There are lot of teachers and professors, who have abundant teaching experiences. They implement their knowledge in to students. They also help students to solve their problems in their study. Furthermore, students can learn useful fundamental things and professional skills from teachers, which is very useful for their future study and work. Secondly, students can learn how to arrange their time reasonably. Before their studying in a college, their life often arranged by their parents and their time often arranged by teachers. But Things will change after they start going to college. During college life, students have to arrange their life and time themselves, although it is very difficult for them. Part time job to pay for their expenses, rent and fees along with studying hard to get good grade make them organised one. These are very vital experiences for students, which helps them in work and life in future. For example, I used to get everything ready by my mother; when I was in high school. But after moving in to dorm to start my collage study, I had to do every thing by myself, which is very hard for me in the beginning. In long run, those hard time prepares me for future. And recently, being a mother of two kids and as a wife; I works full time and easily manages all things by myself. Finally, besides getting knowledge and experiences, studying in the college make students having opportunity to live with other students and learn how to cooperate with others. Usually, people often have uncomfortable feelings to live with a stranger. Because they do not know about each other and about their nature, so there may be chances of conflicts occur. But students have to cooperate with other students and have to face problems together while studying in group project or other related activity. Gradually, they learn how to care and understand other people. For long run, such experience strengthen students' ability to survive in to corporate world in future. To sum up, in college, students not only gain knowledge form books and from skilled professors, but also learn more necessary experiences such as, how to arrange time and hoe to cooperate with other people. It is very important for their future life and work.
College is the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons behind attending college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Consider using a past participle here: "attended".
attend
college to continue
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study
further
after graduation;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to flip their career to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
path, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job. No matter what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend college for, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a college prepares us for future.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and have new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in college. There are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
teachers and professors, who have abundant teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. They implement their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to solve their problems in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
useful fundamental things and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from teachers, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and work.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to arrange their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reasonably
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a college, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
arranged by their parents and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
arranged by teachers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Things will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going to college. During college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
arrange their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
themselves, although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for them. Part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job to pay for their expenses, rent and fees along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
one. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything ready by my mother; when I was in high school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after moving in to dorm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my collage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, I had to do every thing by myself, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me in the beginning. In long run, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
prepares me for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. And recently, being a mother of two kids and as a wife; I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "work"
works
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
easily
manages all things by myself.

Finally
,
besides
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in the college
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
having opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to cooperate with others.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have uncomfortable feelings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a stranger.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they do not know about each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and about their nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there may be chances of conflicts occur.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cooperate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face problems together while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in group project or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
related


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
activity
.
Gradually
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to care and understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For long run, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
strengthen
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; ability to survive in to corporate world
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

To sum up, in college,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
form books and from skilled professors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
such as, how to arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and hoe to cooperate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and work.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
73Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
466 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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