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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v.3

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 3
In the contemporary era, having the same responsibility as parents or partners is prevalent due to the equal rights movement’s massive progress and the financial situation. In my opinion, such alteration is crucial for modern-day societies as both women and men have an opportunity to pursue their careers and interests. Nowadays, the immense trend towards the equality between genders is an epidemic matter; thus, it is not unusual for couples to freely decide which parental role each partner takes according to whether their preference or abilities. Besides, the cost of living is increasingly grown up, as never before. The marriage partners, thereby, have coercion of working severely to amass the potential fortune to make their long-held dream of the family. As a result, it is indeed inevitable to make up their minds about who toils base on his/her higher income and ability and who assumes childcare. I opine that in recent years when men and women are not put under pressure of playing an epitome of the spouses, they have a chance to further their career paths and gain the qualification, which, in turn, make the life happier and in most of the time east the mind as one can have his personal space along with juggling the affairs through a collective responsibility. In conclusion, I utterly reaffirm that giving hands to cooperate in doing the duty concerning one’s passion and even skills can be beneficial for both sexes on account of being equal as a human right and attaining personal interests
In the contemporary era, having the same responsibility as parents or partners is prevalent due to the equal
rights
movement’s massive progress and the financial situation. In my opinion, such alteration is crucial for modern-day societies as both women and
men
have an opportunity to pursue their careers and interests.

Nowadays, the immense trend towards the equality between genders is an epidemic matter;
thus
, it is not unusual for couples to
freely
decide which parental role each partner takes according to whether their preference or abilities.
Besides
, the cost of living is
increasingly
grown up, as never
before
. The marriage partners, thereby, have coercion of working
severely
to amass the potential fortune to
make
their long-held dream of the family.
As a result
, it is
indeed
inevitable to
make
up their minds about who toils base on his/her higher income and ability and who assumes childcare.

I opine that in recent years when
men
and women are not put under pressure of playing an epitome of the spouses, they have a chance to
further
their career paths and gain the qualification, which, in turn,
make
the life happier and in most of the time east the mind as one can have his personal space along with juggling the affairs through a collective responsibility.

In conclusion
, I
utterly
reaffirm that giving hands to cooperate in doing the duty concerning one’s passion and even
skills
can be beneficial for both sexes on account of being equal as a human right and attaining personal interests
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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