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Those days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or o negative development? v.1

Those days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or o negative development? v. 1
These days, the use of technological devices play an increasingly significant role in education. While some consider this an advantageous development, others believe it is more disadvantageous. I believe the use of computers and laptops in schooling is incredibly beneficial. This essay will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, there are many benefits the widespread use of laptops and Ipas’s bring to the classroom. Firstly, students are able to store information on their Ipad’s without the need for notebooks or stationary. This set up is cheaper for the student’s family as they do not need to spend a sum of money on school supplies. Secondly, with the advent of the internet, information is made accessible and readily available with a click of a button. Websites like google gravely assist in the accessibility of knowledge. On the other hand, the benefits of computer usage in education do not come without drawbacks. Although laptops provide a means of indulgence in information, they also provide a means of over-indulgence in useless activities like facebook and computer games. This can lead to these devices being a distraction in auditoriums. Studies show that for every 30 minute spent in productivity online, 20 minutes are spent wasted on social media. Finally, unfortunately, computers can either be stolen or damaged. Instantly losing important information, a high risk to take for students in master program’s or finalists. In conclusion technology has taken the educational sector by storm, curbing the way for free accessible information and making studies easier for students. Despite this, they can be a source of distraction and can be stolen. However, as long as students responsibly use technology for the right reasons and ensure they take care of them, the positives effects outweigh the negatives.
These days, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technological devices play an
increasingly
significant role in education. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider this an advantageous development, others believe it is more disadvantageous. I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and laptops in schooling is
incredibly
beneficial. This essay will discuss both points of view.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of laptops and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipas
’s bring to the classroom.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipad
’s without the need for notebooks or stationary. This set up is cheaper for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
family as they do not need to spend a sum of money on school supplies.
Secondly
, with the advent of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is made
accessible and
readily
available with a click of a button. Websites like google
gravely
assist in the accessibility of knowledge.

On the other hand
, the benefits of computer usage in education do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
without drawbacks. Although laptops provide a means of indulgence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, they
also
provide a means of over-indulgence in useless activities like
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and computer games. This can lead to these devices being a distraction in auditoriums. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that for every 30 minute spent in productivity online, 20 minutes
are spent
wasted on social media.
Finally
, unfortunately, computers can either
be stolen
or damaged.
Instantly
losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to take for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in master program’s or finalists.

In conclusion
technology has taken the educational sector by storm, curbing the way for free accessible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and making studies easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Despite this, they can be a source of distraction and can
be stolen
.
However
, as long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
responsibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology for the right reasons and ensure they take care of them, the positives effects outweigh the negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Those days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or o negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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