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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v.1

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 1
It is true that men are increasingly likely to take on the role of househusband, while more women than ever are the breadwinners in their families. There could be several reasons for this, and I consider it to be a very positive trend. In recent years, parents have had to adapt to various changes in our societies. Equal rights movements have made great progress, and it has become normal for women to gain qualifications and pursue a career. It has also become socially acceptable for men to stay at home and look after their children. At the same time, the rising cost of living has meant that both marriage partners usually need to work and save money before starting a family. Therefore, when couples have children, they may decide who works and who stays at home depending on the personal preference of each partner, or based on which partner earns the most money. In my view, the changes described above should be seen as progress. We should be happy to live in a society in which men and women have equal opportunities, and in which women are not put under pressure to sacrifice their careers. Equally, it seems only fair that men should be free to leave their jobs in order to assume childcare responsibilities if this is what they wish to do. Couples should be left to make their own decisions about which parental role each partner takes, according to their particular circumstances and needs. In conclusion, the changing roles of men and women in the family are a result of wider changes in society, and I believe that these developments are desirable.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
increasingly
likely to take on the role of househusband, while more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
than ever are the breadwinners in their families. There could be several reasons for this, and I consider it to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.

In recent years, parents have had to adapt to various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our societies. Equal rights movements have made great progress, and it has become normal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to gain qualifications and pursue a career. It has
also
become
socially
acceptable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to stay at home and look after their children. At the same time, the rising cost of living has meant that both marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
usually
need to work and save money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting a family.
Therefore
, when couples have children, they may decide who works and who stays at home depending on the personal preference of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
, or based on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
earns the most money.

In my view, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as progress. We should be happy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have equal opportunities, and in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not put under pressure to sacrifice their careers.
Equally
, it seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should be free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their jobs in order to assume childcare responsibilities if this is what they wish to do.

Couples should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions about which parental role each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
takes, according to their particular circumstances and needs.

In conclusion
, the changing roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the family are a result of wider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in society, and I believe that these developments are desirable.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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