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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.7

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7
Nowadays, cell phones and the internet are extremely crucial for meeting new humans and starting new relationships. In my opinion, the benefits of this method are more than its disadvantages. Firstly, this essay will discuss online meetings benefits and secondly, the violence rates as one of the main disadvantages. On the one hand, the internet allows us to meet with new people and talk to them easily. To illustrate, a person who wants to chat just opens the website from his comfortable home. Moreover, it helps users to gain more confidence and improve their social skills. Namely, if you want to talk with someone for information or just discuss about real life problems, you just have to open your browser and create an account. Talking with strangers makes you more social and being socially active affects your confidence in a good way. Also, using mobile phones to keep in touch is the fastest way to communicate with your friends, parents etc. You don't have to dress up and go outside because It needs less effort. On the other hand, your online or phone friend may be an aggressive person and it might be hazardous for you. For instance, if you give your home address or your phone number, your chat friend might be attack your house or you. Such as stabbing or robbing. It's dangerous to meet with someone you don't know and you have a chance to die. Because you don't know his/her behaviours and mentally statue. Online friendships or relationships are not extremely safe at all. To summarize, having an online or phone friend can cause both bad and good. You must be careful when choosing your friend. In my opinion, if these communication methods use correctly by people, it has more advantages than its disadvantages.
Nowadays, cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and the internet are
extremely
crucial for meeting new humans and starting new relationships. In my opinion, the benefits of this method are more than its disadvantages.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
meetings benefits and
secondly
, the violence rates as one of the main disadvantages.

On the one hand, the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and talk to them
easily
. To illustrate, a person who wants to chat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opens the website from his comfortable home.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
users to gain more confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Namely
, if you want to talk with someone for information or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Did you mean simply "discuss real"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about real
life problems, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
open your browser and create an account. Talking with strangers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you more social and being
socially
active affects your confidence in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.
Also
, using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch is the fastest way to communicate with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, parents etc.

You don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
dress up and go outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It needs less effort.

On the other hand
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
may be an aggressive person and it might be hazardous for you.
For instance
, if you give your home address or your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
number, your chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
might be attack your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or you. Such as stabbing or robbing. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with someone you don't know and you have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
you don't know his/her
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and mentally statue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
friendships or relationships are not
extremely
safe at all.

To summarize
, having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
can cause both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be careful when choosing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. In my opinion, if these communication methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
correctly
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it has more advantages than its disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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