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Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. with this opinion? v. 3
Opinions differ from person to person and there are many who think that changing career once in a lifetime is a better option than hanging onto one. I firmly disagree with this opinion as it is a choice we make in our early youthful years and aim to strive towards it. To begin with, we evaluate our career choices while we are doing our secondary education. In other words, our bachelor studies are based upon our future goals we aim to pursue and see ourselves acquiring a certain position in upcoming years. Moreover, some people also enrol in courses which will enhance their abilities and skills for their aspiring jobs. For example, computer engineers have to study bachelors of computer science in order to gain a job in Information technology sector. Similarly, a doctor will require a degree to practice. Clearly, it takes years to get skilful and indefinite efforts to attain knowledge in a specific domain. Furthermore, taking up different kinds of jobs will not be beneficial in long run. There is a well-known adage which goes as “Jack of all and master of none”, it defines that if anyone attempts to learn everything might not ace even a single thing. Additionally, with years of experience at one job will help an individual to learn a lot more than switching to different jobs and learning one skill with each job. In conclusion, mastering at one job with many skills is thought-provoking and brings a sense of confidence in an individual. Therefore, I strongly believe this notion of sticking to one job rather than switching to do different jobs and exhausting resources and valuable time.
Opinions differ from person to person and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that changing career once in a lifetime is a better option than hanging onto one. I
firmly
disagree with this opinion as it is a choice we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
in our early youthful years and aim to strive towards it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we evaluate our career choices while we are doing our secondary education.
In other words
, our bachelor studies
are based
upon our future goals we aim to pursue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
ourselves acquiring a certain position in upcoming years.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
enrol in courses which will enhance their abilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their aspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
, computer engineers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study bachelors of computer science in order to gain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in Information technology sector.
Similarly
, a doctor will require a degree to practice.
Clearly
, it takes years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
and indefinite efforts to attain knowledge in a specific domain.

Furthermore
, taking up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will not be beneficial in long run. There is a well-known adage which goes as “Jack of all and master of none”, it defines that if anyone attempts to learn everything might not ace even a single thing.
Additionally
, with years of experience at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an individual to learn a lot more than switching to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and learning one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
with each job.

In conclusion
, mastering at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-provoking and brings a sense of confidence in an individual.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe this notion of sticking to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
rather
than switching to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and exhausting resources and valuable time.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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