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These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v.12

These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v. 12
Technology has taken a huge place in every individual' s life that is developing day by day. Mobile phone and internet are two popular examples of technology. However, according to my perspective merits are more than demerits about which I will shed light in upcoming paragraph. To begin with its positive side, Smart phone and internet is faster and reliable resources which helps individuals to communicate with kith and kins easily wherever they are. for example people prefer to do free audio and video calls through social media such as whatsapp, facebook, instagram and so on. these aspects has made our life easier and improved our relationship even with those people who are thousand miles away from us. Moreover, people can share their personal media like as pictures, documents, song, videos and etcetera just in few seconds with each other. Similarly, these both technical advancements are source of vast knowledge and medium of business as unlimited opportunities are available on internet which can help any person to make there identity unique in the world and become successful person. Apart from this, smart phones provide opportunity to get distinct opportunities from itself as it is multi purpose device having entertainment, photo and video capturing, education, games and communication facilities which is the way too beneficial for individuals. However, there are some minor flaws in such kind of technical things for example there are some harmful websites or internet that can hack the personal stuff of people by corrupting their computers or phones. While, overuse of mobile phone leads to weak eye sight that is quite critical for health as well. Hence, it can be summarized that these resources are providing us comfort as well as easier lifestyle that is why we should use it according to our need and government should also ban those sites which may harm the personal data also the feelings of people.
Technology has taken a huge place in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s life
that is
developing day by day. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and internet are two popular examples of technology.
However
, according to my perspective merits are more than demerits about which I will shed light in upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, Smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and internet is faster and reliable resources which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individuals to communicate with kith and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kin", the plural form of the noun 'kin'?
kins
easily
wherever they are.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to do free audio and video calls through social media such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. these aspects has made our life easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
our relationship even with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
miles away from us.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share their personal media like as pictures, documents, song, videos and etcetera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in few seconds with each other.
Similarly
, these both technical advancements are source of vast knowledge and medium of business as unlimited opportunities are available on internet which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
any person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
there identity unique in the world and become successful person.

Apart from this, smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
provide opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distinct opportunities from itself as it is
This word is normally spelled as one.
multi purpose
device having entertainment, photo and video capturing, education, games and communication facilities which is the way too beneficial for individuals.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor flaws in such kind of technical things
for example
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful websites or internet that can hack the personal stuff of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by corrupting their computers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. While, overuse of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
leads to weak
This word is usually spelt together: "eyesight".
eye sight
that is
quite critical for health
as well
.

Hence
, it can
be summarized
that these resources are providing us comfort
as well
as easier lifestyle
that is
why we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it according to our need and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
ban those sites which may harm the personal data
also
the feelings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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