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All around the globe every year many animal species become extinct. However, some people feel that governments should be concerned more with solving the problems of human life. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

All around the globe every year many animal species become extinct. However, some people feel that governments should be concerned more with solving the problems of human life. v. 2
Habitant loss can be enormous ways such as, environmental calamities, pollution, drought, deforestation and many others; however, in this circumstance various species are being eliminated from globe. Further to this, humans argue that government need to consider the challenges faced by human life because they are being affected by these calamities. Firstly, there are plethora of species in this massive arena fighting to safeguard their survival. Due the rapid growth of population there is undoubted increase in pollution as well; moreover, to maintain their existence on earth humans are attempting to deforestation. By this unlawful act many endangered and rare species are vanished. On the other hand, pollution plays a vital role in tuning environment to become more toxic. In addition, aquatic mammals are becoming extinct due to the release of industrial waste into rivers. Humans are part of great cycle of life on earth, and as such we depend on overall systems for our survival. On the contrary, human life is in perilous situation despite of calamities like earthquakes, floods, drought; additionally, there is a huge loss of infrastructure and resources. To reform the structure to its original state and to continue the human existence it requires lot of support from government. Due to the unnecessary usage of resources with massive increase in population, many natural resources are being abolished which needs to be controlled. As, globe is a humongous mass which constitute both animals and humans without them there is no existence of earth. Government need to be concerned at whole ecosystem; but, human’s life needs more importance because human existence can help in animal’s survival and longevity. On a whole, the management should help in solving the challenges faced by human life.
Habitant loss can be enormous ways such as, environmental calamities, pollution, drought, deforestation and
many
others;
however
, in this circumstance various species are
being eliminated
from globe.
Further
to this,
humans
argue that
government
need
to consider the challenges faced by
human
life
because
they are being
affected
by these calamities.

Firstly
, there are plethora of species in this massive arena fighting to safeguard their survival.
Due the
rapid growth of population there
is undoubted
increase in pollution
as well
;
moreover
, to maintain their
existence
on earth
humans
are attempting to deforestation. By this unlawful act
many
endangered and rare species
are vanished
.
On the other hand
, pollution plays a vital role in tuning environment to become more toxic.
In addition
, aquatic mammals are becoming extinct due to the release of industrial waste into rivers.

Humans are part of great cycle of
life
on earth, and as such we depend on
overall
systems for our survival.
On the contrary
,
human
life
is in perilous situation
despite of
calamities like earthquakes, floods, drought;
additionally
, there is a huge loss of infrastructure and resources. To reform the structure to its original state and to continue the
human
existence
it requires
lot of
support from
government
. Due to the unnecessary usage of resources with massive increase in population,
many
natural resources are
being abolished
which
needs
to
be controlled
.

As, globe is a humongous mass which constitute both animals and
humans
without them there is no
existence
of earth.
Government
need
to
be concerned
at whole ecosystem;
but
,
human’s
life
needs
more importance
because
human
existence
can
help
in animal’s survival and longevity. On a whole, the management should
help
in solving the challenges faced by
human
life
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay All around the globe every year many animal species become extinct. However, some people feel that governments should be concerned more with solving the problems of human life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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