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Task 2: International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Task 2: International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
In recent decades, transport is become more affordable cost as well as the increasing number of travellers. Therefore, many nations have prior policies to attract global tourists. While i accept that tourism can sometime bring a negative effect. I believe that they are more likely to have many benefits. On the one hand, i would argue that these advantages would rather outweigh than disadvantages. Firstly, tourism industry would contribute massive money to develope national economics, for example, a large proportion of tourists pleasantly choose italy for visiting owing to its stunning landscape or historical architectures. Secondly, local people, in particularly in developing countries, could have earned a living from many jobs which relate to these and their standard of living might be gradually improved, for instance, although Nepal is one of poor countries, Nepalese living around mount Everest could have specific job to guide foreign mountain climbers. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks in tourism that occur serious problem in habitat. From social perspective, local society might face many challenging issue by a significant development of tourists, such as, social diseases, traffic congestion or high crime. In additional to that, a lack of severe management from local government that could seriously threaten on eco systems as a result, many places could be rapidly polutted by various waste resources or entirely destroyed by artificial constructions, for example, in Vietnam, some areas, Phu quoc’s beaches has polluted by huge garbage and the trees of Sapa in North Vietnam has cutted down insteading of hotels and restaurants, which is not strictly tacke by authorized officers. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of travel are less outstanding than the possible benefits.
In recent decades, transport
is become
more affordable cost
as well
as the increasing number of
travellers
.
Therefore
,
many
nations have prior policies to attract global tourists.
While
i
accept that tourism can sometime bring a
negative
effect. I believe that they are more likely to have
many
benefits.

On the one hand,
i
would argue that these advantages would
rather
outweigh than disadvantages.
Firstly
, tourism industry would contribute massive money to
develope
national economics,
for example
, a large proportion of tourists
pleasantly
choose
italy
for visiting owing to its stunning landscape or historical architectures.
Secondly
, local
people
, in
particularly
in
developing countries
, could have earned a living from
many
jobs which relate to these and their standard of living might be
gradually
improved
,
for instance
, although Nepal is one of poor countries, Nepalese living around
mount Everest
could have specific job to guide foreign mountain climbers.

On the other hand
, there are
some
drawbacks in tourism that occur serious problem in habitat. From social perspective, local society might face
many
challenging issue by a significant development of tourists, such as, social diseases, traffic congestion or high crime. In additional to that, a lack of severe management from local
government
that could
seriously
threaten on
eco systems
as a result
,
many
places could be
rapidly
polutted
by various waste resources or
entirely
destroyed
by artificial constructions,
for example
, in Vietnam,
some
areas,
Phu
quoc
’s beaches has polluted by huge garbage and the trees of
Sapa
in North Vietnam has
cutted
down
insteading
of hotels and restaurants, which is not
strictly
tacke
by authorized officers.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that the potential
dangers
of travel are less outstanding than the possible benefits.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Task 2: International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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