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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 5
Nowadays, most children spend a significant amount of time playing games on a computer while less playing sports. This trend is mainly due to the availability of advanced electronics gadgets and bad weather conditions for outdoor sports. This trend has a cathode development that has adverse effects on both physical and mental health. Firstly, the trend has been shifted from physical involving games to static due to the availability of up to mark computer games. Secondly, people can play together with a multiplayer option around the globe that attracts friends and family living in different countries, for instance, the PUBG game. Furthermore, the modern virtual and augmented reality games enable the feelings of ‘being there’ experience was unimaginable in the recent past. Besides, the construction of buildings on playgrounds in addition to raw weather discourages one from sports. For instance, the overcast of Canada is unsuitable for running and a plethora of outdoor games. This shift in the trend for the younger generation has adverse effects on both mental and physical health. As people are playing more and more computer games, spend enormous time alone without physical movement, causes obesity and depression. For example, in the ongoing pandemic, Ottawa has reported massive mental health cases than ever before. These are because of the lack of communication with one another, comparing to the recent past. Therefore, people feel jubilant while playing computer games with their loved ones but underestimates the long-term side effects. In conclusion, the advent of technological items has upgraded the level of computer games. However, it has more side effects while playing for a longer time, such as obesity and depression, to name but a few.
Nowadays, most children spend a significant amount of time
playing
games
on a computer while less
playing
sports. This
trend
is
mainly
due to the availability of advanced electronics gadgets and
bad
weather conditions for outdoor sports. This
trend
has a cathode development that has adverse effects on both
physical
and mental health.

Firstly
, the
trend
has
been shifted
from
physical
involving
games
to static due to the availability of up to mark computer
games
.
Secondly
,
people
can play together with a multiplayer option around the globe that attracts friends and family living in
different
countries,
for instance
, the PUBG game.
Furthermore
, the modern virtual and augmented reality
games
enable the feelings of ‘being there’ experience was unimaginable in the recent past.
Besides
, the construction of buildings on playgrounds
in addition
to raw weather discourages one from sports.
For instance
, the overcast of Canada is unsuitable for running and a plethora of outdoor games.

This shift in the
trend
for the younger generation has adverse effects on both mental and
physical
health. As
people
are
playing
more and more computer
games
, spend enormous time alone without
physical
movement, causes obesity and depression.
For example
, in the ongoing pandemic, Ottawa has reported massive mental health cases than ever
before
. These are
because
of the lack of communication with one another, comparing to the recent past.
Therefore
,
people
feel jubilant while
playing
computer
games
with their
loved
ones
but
underestimates the long-term side effects.

In conclusion
, the advent of technological items has upgraded the level of computer
games
.
However
, it has more side effects while
playing
for a longer time, such as obesity and depression, to name
but
a few.
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IELTS essay Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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