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These days many children have difficulty concentrating and paying attention in schools. What are the causes for it. How can it be dealt with? v.1

These days many children have difficulty concentrating and paying attention in schools. What are the causes for it. How can it be dealt with? v. 1
In this modern world there is competition in every field of life, and only those who are best will be successful. However, it is seen that grades of children is on a decline due to the fact that they are having difficulty paying attention and concentrating at class. This essay will examine the causes of this problem, and how can it be overcome. To begin with, i believe there are several causes for it. First, and foremost is the fact that teachers nowadays lack freedom to discipline children, and reluctant to use force against children. Also, children do know this fact and, inturn exploit it as a for instance, we come across news where student sue teacher for using force which is sometimes necessary to teach manners. Another factor is lack of sound sleep due to the fact that many children spend hours on watching television and using mobile phones will not get adequate sleep. Lastly, nutritional factor also play a role in it as most of the children uses processed food which can lead to problems such as attention deficit disorder. Having said this, it is possible to counter balance these variables by making simple moves such as regulating and limiting usage of electronic devices especially at night to ensure sound sleep. Apart from this, school administration must remove the processed food, and replace it with fresh vegetables and meat. Most importantly by giving extra freedom to teachers will greatly improve the situation, and possibly grades of children. To conclude, although there are large number of attributes responsible for this situation at schools, but effective measures can be taken to alter the current condition. In the future too, without adapting preventive measures the situation will get worse.
In this modern world there is competition in every field of life, and
only
those who are best will be successful.
However
, it is
seen
that grades of
children
is on a decline due to the
fact
that they are having difficulty paying attention and concentrating at
class
. This essay will examine the causes of this problem, and how can it
be overcome
.

To
begin
with,
i
believe there are several causes for it.
First
, and foremost is the
fact
that teachers nowadays lack freedom to discipline
children
, and reluctant to
use
force against
children
.
Also
,
children
do know this
fact
and,
inturn
exploit it as a
for instance
, we
come
across news where student sue teacher for using force which is
sometimes
necessary to teach manners. Another factor is lack of sound sleep due to the
fact
that
many
children
spend hours on watching television and using mobile phones will not
get
adequate sleep.
Lastly
, nutritional factor
also
play a role in it as most of the
children
uses
processed food which can lead to problems such as attention deficit disorder.

Having said this, it is possible to counter balance these variables by making simple
moves
such as regulating and limiting usage of electronic devices
especially
at night to ensure sound sleep. Apart from this, school administration
must
remove the processed food, and replace it with fresh vegetables and meat. Most
importantly
by giving extra freedom to teachers will
greatly
improve
the situation, and
possibly
grades of children.

To conclude
, although there are large number of attributes responsible for this situation at schools,
but
effective measures can
be taken
to alter the
current
condition. In the future too, without adapting preventive measures the situation will
get
worse.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay These days many children have difficulty concentrating and paying attention in schools. What are the causes for it. How can it be dealt with? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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