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These days’ children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v.1

These days’ children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v. 1
In this day and age, modern gadgets like laptops, tablets and smart phones, have become an integral part of our lives and now they have gained immense popularity amongst young children as well. This can be advantageous in some ways, but can be detrimental at the same time. We are well aware that computer skills are essential in today’s world. The earlier a person acquires the skill of how to operate these devices, the better it is. Children are exposed to technology at a very young age since every household now has at least a smart phone or a personal computer. Young minds are naturally more curious and eager to explore such things and they learn their use rather quickly. Therefore, it is beneficial for them in future, if they already know how these appliances work. Furthermore, certain games that children play on smart phones have a positive impact on their cognitive development. For instance, games that test quickness of reflexes or problem solving techniques can improve a child’s mental capabilities. On the contrary, young children learning the use of these devices has negative consequences too because children then are likely to spend too much time using them. One of the drawbacks is the harmful effect on a child’s health. For example, excessive screen time can lead to vision problems. In addition, sitting for long hours in front of the computer can cause persistent back pain. Children also do not get sufficient physical exercise because they tend to stay inside and play games or watch videos on smart phones. Another disadvantage is that some children lose interest in academics altogether, if they engage too much in technological devices early in life. Studying and reading books can seem boring to them in comparison to using high-tech devices. Thus, evidently, learning their use at a very early stage has certain adverse effects. To recapitulate, the use of electronic devices by young children has both positive and negative outcomes. However, if the parents monitor the time their child spends on them, many of the problems can be avoided.
In this day and age, modern gadgets like laptops, tablets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, have become an integral part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have gained immense popularity amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
. This can be advantageous in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can be detrimental at the same time.

We are well aware that computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are essential in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. The earlier a person acquires the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of how to operate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, the better it is.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are exposed
to technology at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age since every household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has at least a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or a personal computer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
minds are
naturally
more curious and eager to explore such
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they learn their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
rather
quickly
.
Therefore
, it is beneficial for them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, if they already know how these appliances work.
Furthermore
, certain games that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their cognitive development.
For instance
, games that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
quickness of reflexes or problem solving techniques can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a child’s mental capabilities.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
then are likely to spend too much time using them. One of the drawbacks is the harmful effect on a child’s health.
For example
, excessive screen time can lead to vision problems.
In addition
, sitting for long hours in front of the computer can cause persistent back pain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
also
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient physical exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to stay inside and play games or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
videos on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Another disadvantage is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lose interest in academics altogether, if they engage too much in technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
early in life. Studying and reading books can seem boring to them
in comparison
to using high-tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
Thus
,
evidently
, learning their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early stage has certain adverse effects.

To recapitulate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.
However
, if the parents monitor the time their child spends on them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the problems can
be avoided
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay These days’ children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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