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Some people believe that it is the responsibilities of teachers at school to shape the child for a better future while others say it is the parents's responsibility. Explain your answer with relevant examples. v.1

Some people believe that it is the responsibilities of teachers at school to shape the child for a better future while others say it is the parents's responsibility. Explain your answer with relevant examples. v. 1
Education plays a vital everyone's life. It also has a great role in the progress of the country. It is often argued that educators have greater responsibility in development of a student than parents. Necause teachers are well trained to teach formal lessons. Similarly, the school is the best place for a children to socialize and make more friends. To begin with, parents have great importance in the upbringing of their offsprings. In spite of this, educating children at home alone does not always mean leading them to a bright future, but they get formal education from teachers at school, it is extremely important thing. It is impossible at home level. Moreover, in schools, teachers provide them conducive learning environment. These days most of the schools constantly update their faculty with various country contemporary methods of teaching through seminars and trainings. Because educators know that these practices are necessary for children to cope up with the technological advancement of today's world. Furthermore, practical exercises and laborartry experiments significantly help them to their mark sheets good. Practical experiments are not possible in a home. Adding to this, children cannot enhance their skills like leadership and teamwork in the homely environment. Because, in the house there are no such rules and regulation to be followed by children, that is why they feel comfortable. In this case, they can never learn new things. However, at school, youngsters learn to interact with others. In addition, many extra curriculum activities are offered to them in the supervision of teachers, sometimes activities are associated with their interests of the students, for example, scouting and sports event. In conclusion, some individuals have opinion that, mentors have a more crucial role in the life of children whilst others are in a favour of parents. Teachers are expert to make children educated and responsible citizen, because they are professionally trained in performing so.
Education plays a vital everyone's life. It
also
has a great role in the progress of the country. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that educators have greater responsibility in development of a student than parents.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Necause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
to teach formal lessons.
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to socialize and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, parents have great importance in the upbringing of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home alone does not always mean leading them to a bright future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
formal education from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing. It is impossible at home level.
Moreover
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
provide them conducive learning environment. These days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
constantly
update their faculty with various country contemporary methods of teaching through seminars and trainings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
educators know that these practices are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to cope up with the technological advancement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world.
Furthermore
, practical exercises and
Possible spelling mistake found.
laborartry
experiments
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to their mark sheets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Practical experiments are not possible in a home.

Adding to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like leadership and teamwork in the homely environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
there are no such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation to
be followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
that is
why they feel comfortable.
In this case
, they can never learn new things.
However
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, youngsters learn to interact with others.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
extra curriculum activities
are offered
to them in the supervision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
activities
are associated
with their interests of the students,
for example
, scouting and sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals have opinion that, mentors have a more crucial role in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whilst others are in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of parents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are expert to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
educated and responsible citizen,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
professionally
trained in performing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the responsibilities of teachers at school to shape the child for a better future while others say it is the parents's responsibility. Explain your answer with relevant examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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