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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.14

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 14
In today’s globalization, a part of society believes that to secure a good job, the key to success is education, while another section of community presumes that experience and soft skill is more influential. In my opinion, I believe that both academic qualifications and work experience are equally beneficial to secure a better job. To begin with, many people think that education is a must to get a good job. If a person has a good educational background, then it is beneficial for getting hired by the company during the starting phase. Apart from that, a degree is an added advantage for promotion. The increasing number of graduates in the universities specifies the significance of education for getting better prospects. On the other hand, relevant experience and soft skill are essential in the prospect of finding a new job. To get advancement in career, one has to have good experience and skills. Having skill and experience in the relevant domain increases the chances of getting hired on others having low hand knowledge and skills. Finally, to attain higher positions in a career, one has to have education, skill, and experience because the organization will not hire individuals without those qualities. Experience and skill are not the only requirements. For example, doctors, lawyers, and teachers cannot get hired without a proper degree in their relevant area of expertise, and without experience, they will not be able to achieve further opportunities in their career. To summarize, it is proof that people should have both the education, skill, and experience to attain the necessary success in their career path.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s globalization, a part of society believes that to secure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job, the key to success is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, while another section of community presumes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is more influential. In my opinion, I believe that both academic qualifications and work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are
equally
beneficial to secure a better job.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job. If a person has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
educational background, then it is beneficial for getting hired by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
during the starting phase. Apart from that, a degree is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage for promotion. The increasing number of graduates in the universities specifies the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for getting better prospects.

On the other hand
, relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
are essential in the prospect of finding a new job. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advancement in career, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in the relevant domain increases the chances of getting hired on others having low hand knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Finally
, to attain higher positions in a career, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the organization will not hire individuals without those qualities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requirements.
For example
, doctors, lawyers, and teachers cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired without a proper degree in their relevant area of expertise, and without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, they will not be able to achieve
further
opportunities in their career.

To summarize
, it is proof that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to attain the necessary success in their career path.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 14

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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