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These days a lot of people have their own computer and telephone. It has become quite easy to do job from home. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v.2

These days a lot of people have their own computer and telephone. It has become quite easy to do job from home. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 2
In modern world, technology has revolutionized our lives. Along-with numerous other astonishing changes that technology has brought to us, there is one of particular importance and that is the possibility of being able to work from virtually anywhere, depending on the nature of the work and availability of the required technology. Now-a-days many people possess personal computers and telephones, making it relatively easy to be able to work from home. Where there are pros of such luxuries, there are some cons as well. I personally believe there are more benefits of this very notion, if people organize themselves properly. In the first place, hefty amounts of money along-with precious time, while travelling up and down the work can be saved, if people can perform their duty from home by taking advantage of the technology. For instance, those who are associated with e-commerce industry, most of them have the opportunity at hand to take care of 99% of their business operations from home. So, with the help of technology it has actually become possible to save travelling costs and time. Moreover, by working from home, people can manage their own hours, providing them more opportunities to spend time with family or getting enrolled in valuable courses, enhancing their personal capacity. This can be further explained by the example of a person, who manages his business from home, can start a digital marketing course in the morning and working in the afternoon. Hence there number of instances where people can put themselves in a schedule that suits them the most. Since, every luxury comes at a cost similarly, home based working individuals pay the price by getting themselves socially disconnected. By staying at ease most of the time, they so lazy to keep in touch within their social circle. To recapitulate, there is no denying the fact that, there are more benefits of being able to from home with the help of technology, than the drawbacks, provided that one is equipped with exceptional organizational and personal management skills.
In modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has revolutionized our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Along-with numerous other astonishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has brought to us, there is one of particular importance and
that is
the possibility of being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from
virtually
anywhere, depending on the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and availability of the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
possess personal computers and telephones, making it
relatively
easy to be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home. Where there are pros of such luxuries, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons
as well
. I
personally
believe there are more benefits of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
notion, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
organize themselves
properly
.

In the
first
place, hefty amounts of money along-with precious time, while travelling up and down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
be saved
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can perform their duty from home by taking advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For instance
, those who
are associated
with e-commerce industry, most of them have the opportunity at hand to take care of 99% of their business operations from home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
it has actually become possible to save travelling costs and time.

Moreover
, by working from home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hours, providing them more opportunities to spend time with family or getting enrolled in valuable courses, enhancing their personal capacity. This can be
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the example of a person, who manages his business from home, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a digital marketing course in the morning and working in the afternoon.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
there number of instances where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can put themselves in a schedule that suits them the most.

Since, every luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a cost
similarly
, home based working individuals pay the price by getting themselves
socially
disconnected. By staying at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
most of the time, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lazy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch within their social circle.

To recapitulate, there is no denying the fact that, there are more benefits of being able to from home with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, than the drawbacks, provided that one
is equipped
with exceptional organizational and personal management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay These days a lot of people have their own computer and telephone. It has become quite easy to do job from home. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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