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Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only. While other people believe that media should have education value. Discuss both view and give your own view v.2

Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only. While other people believe that media should have education value. 2
opinions are divided between ideas that the media should serve entertainment purposes and foster education values. In my opinion, the media can and should be both entertaining and educational. On the one hand, the media has a prominent role in entertainment. Firstly, they are communication outlets or tools and devices used to store and deliver information or data such as TV, the radio, and computers, etc. it is widely believed the media are a valuable and practical tool for information dissemination. The reason why the media become popular is its easily and rapidly updated news and information. Every second in life, the electronic media provide its target audience with up- to- the- minute breaking news and stories. For example, via the Internet, readers may get instant access to the most up-to-date information about the War Trade between the USA and China. In addition, more and more viewers are attracted to game shows and reality programmes on television because of their high amusement level and top-ranking quality. On the other hand, some people think that educational aspects should be appreciated. it is true that the media can affect directly their users, especially children and teenagers. At present, there are a number of programs which have violent actions, swearing, or discourteous speeches. Moreover, those programs contain sexual images which are inappropriate to their ages. As a result, it is advisable that the government take the issuance of relevant educational programs through the media into proper consideration. In conclusion, even though there are different opinions between the entertainment purposes and educational values of the media, I agree with these both views
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
opinions
are divided
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should serve entertainment purposes and foster education values. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can and should be both entertaining and educational.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a prominent role in entertainment.
Firstly
, they are communication outlets or tools and devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to store and deliver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or data such as TV, the radio, and computers, etc. it is
widely
believed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are a valuable and practical tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
dissemination. The reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
become popular is its
easily
and
rapidly
updated news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Every second in life, the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
provide its target audience with up- to- the- minute breaking news and stories.
For example
, via the Internet, readers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
instant access to the most up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the War Trade between the USA and China.
In addition
, more and more viewers
are attracted
to game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and reality
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
on television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their high amusement level and top-ranking quality.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that educational aspects should
be appreciated
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can affect
directly
their users,
especially
children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. At present, there are a number of programs which have violent actions, swearing, or discourteous speeches.
Moreover
, those programs contain sexual images which are inappropriate to their ages.
As a result
, it is advisable that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
take the issuance of relevant educational programs through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
into proper consideration.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions between the entertainment purposes and educational values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with these both views
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only. While other people believe that media should have education value. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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