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TOEFL essay: It has recently been announced that large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.2

TOEFL essay: It has recently been announced that large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2
There are many things that need to be considered while constructing mall in any part of the city. I strongly oppose constructing mall in my hometown. There are several reasons for this which I will explore in following essay. First of all, shopping complexes and malls are usual hangout places for friends and families. Some people go to mall just for spending time even if they do not have anything to shop. As a result, these places will be crowded most of the time. It agitates the serenity in my place. In addition to this, more crowd will lead to increased traffic problems, air pollution and noise pollution. A shopping mall which opened two years ago in my hometown is a compelling example for this. It was very big and had almost all kinds of stores inside it. It attracted enormous amount of people around my city. They threw paper, plastic and other wastes in and around the mall. Surrounding area of mall was always inundated with vehicals. Their constant honking and continuous noise perturbed the residents around the mall. Second, as I mentioned before shopping malls usually have variety of stores. Even though, it is true that one can get all the things under same roof, it will have negetive impacts on small local shopkeepers. These are the people who run their shops not because they want to become rich but to make thier living. If shopping mall is opened in their locality then it takes majority of market share and they will have to eventually close thier shop. I would like to take the example of same shopping mall that I mentioned earlier. Local shop keepers were taken aback by how shopping malls attracted their consumers. Many of small shop keepers moved out of town and others started searching for new job. Their family struggled alot until they found new job. It was even worse for some of them because they didn' t know any other occupation and because of dependancy they could not migrate. For this reason I oppose opening shopping mall in my residency. In conclusion, I strongly believe that opening a shopping mall in my locality is not a good idea. This is because it will create traffic problems, increases air and noise pollution and small shop keepers will have to find an alternative for leading their lives.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that need to
be considered
while constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
in any part of the city. I
strongly
oppose constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
in my hometown. There are several reasons for this which I will explore in following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complexes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are usual hangout places for friends and families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for spending time even if they do not have anything to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
As a result
, these places will
be crowded
most of the time. It agitates the serenity in my place.
In addition
to this, more crowd will lead to increased traffic problems, air pollution and noise pollution. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
which opened two years ago in my hometown is a compelling example for this. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and had almost all kinds of stores inside it. It attracted enormous amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around my city. They threw paper, plastic and other wastes in and around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
. Surrounding area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
was always inundated with
Possible spelling mistake found.
vehicals
. Their constant honking and continuous noise perturbed the residents around the mall.

Second, as I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
usually
have variety of stores.
Even though
, it is true that one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the things under same roof, it will have
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetive
impacts on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
local shopkeepers. These are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who run their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to become rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
living. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is opened
in their locality then it takes
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
market
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
share and
they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eventually
close
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. I would like to take the example of same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
that I mentioned earlier. Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
keepers
were taken
aback by how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
attracted their consumers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
keepers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
out of town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
searching for new job. Their family struggled
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
until they found new job. It was even worse for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t know any other occupation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependancy
they could not migrate.
For this reason
I oppose opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
in my residency.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that opening a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
in my locality is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will create traffic problems, increases air and noise pollution and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
keepers will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find an alternative for leading their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay TOEFL essay: It has recently been announced that large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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