Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There seems to be increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent many people believe that the other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.2

There are different punishments for serious criminal behavior. While some people state that death penalty is an effective manner to prevent major criminal wrongdoings, others believe that other solutions are more efficient. This essay will discuss why death penalty might help reduce serious crimes but why life imprisonment is more effective. Killing offenders has been a measure taken by several countries in order to prevent serious crimes. This manner of crime prevention is effective because people do not enact on their wrongdoings as a result of fear of being assassinated. If someone thinks of the death penalty, this might prevent him or her from committing a rape or a murder. Countries instill fear in their citizens to control unwanted behaviors and punish them accordingly for serious injustices. Nevertheless, life-imprisonment represents a more efficient manner to deter crime. A lifetime of seclusion is not going to appeal to criminals because, contrary to the death penalty, it elongates their suffering while in prison. The sole thought of a life behind the bars might prevent them from committing serious crimes. Life imprisonment represents a longer punishment of convicted people for their wrongdoings than the death penalty. Death penalty and life imprisonment are means in which crimes are prevented. This essay discussed why death penalty is effective in deterring serious law violations but why a life behind the bars is a more efficient manner to prevent crime. In my opinion, a life of seclusion is a better deterrent for crime than the fear of a possible death because the former would last longer.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
criminal behavior. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
state that death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manner
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
major criminal wrongdoings, others believe that other solutions are more efficient. This essay will discuss why death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
imprisonment is more effective.

Killing offenders has been a measure taken by several countries in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manner
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention is effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not enact on their wrongdoings
as a result
of fear of
being assassinated
. If someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
of the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
, this might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
him or her from committing a rape or a murder. Countries instill fear in their citizens to control unwanted behaviors and punish them
accordingly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
injustices.

Nevertheless
, life-imprisonment represents a more efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manner
to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. A lifetime of seclusion is not going to appeal to criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, contrary to the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
, it elongates their suffering while in prison. The sole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
behind the bars might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
them from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
imprisonment represents a longer punishment of convicted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for their wrongdoings than the death penalty.

Death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
imprisonment are means in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
. This essay discussed why death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is effective in deterring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
law violations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
behind the bars is a more efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manner
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of seclusion is a better deterrent for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
than the fear of a possible death
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the former would last longer.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use death penalty as a deterrent, other people think that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts