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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides. v.2

Many countries in the world are currently, worrying about their increasing crime rates each year. To reduce crimes, the most commonly proposed verdict is death penalty and many people suggest that we could come up with other innovative solutions to augment crime. This essay will discuss both the points of view and argue in favour of the latter. Firstly, every country is tightening their laws to reduce the crime rates and governments are taking stringent actions by imposing strict penalties to reduce the crime rates. Moreover, it is the responsibility of the citizens in the country to follow the rules laid by the government in all situations of their life. Citizens have to be prepared to face strong penalties imposed by the government if they breach the law. For Instance, Police arrested 35 citizens in the US since they were found drunken driving. The government took sharp measures by providing them with tickets and huge fine penalties. Secondly, the government can take more initiatives, in educating the citizen's regarding the rules enforced and laws to be followed. Government can reach out to citizens through various channels to create awareness. They can do this by advertising, through social media platforms, radio shows, by doing this way, citizens can get the opportunity to lean the laws and also allows them to adapt to it. This will also help them to nurture the citizens and help in reduction of crime rates. To conclude, it is the responsibility of the citizens in each country to act wisely and responsibly. However, I believe that it is the responsibility of the government to save the country and also reduce the crime rates with specific penalties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world are
currently
, worrying about their increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
each year. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, the most
commonly
proposed verdict is death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with other innovative solutions to augment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This essay will discuss both the points of view and argue in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of the latter.

Firstly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is tightening their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are taking stringent actions by imposing strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
Moreover
, it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
laid by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in all situations of their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be prepared
to face strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
imposed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
if they breach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
For Instance
, Police arrested 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in the US since they
were found
drunken driving. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
took sharp measures by providing them with tickets and huge fine penalties.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take more initiatives, in educating the citizen's regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
enforced and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to
be followed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
can reach out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
through various channels to create awareness. They can do this by advertising, through social media platforms, radio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, by doing this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to lean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to adapt to it.

This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to nurture the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

To conclude
, it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to act
wisely
and
responsibly
.
However
, I believe that it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
with specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year. While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. . . . The number of criminals is growing extremely year by year.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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