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Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree? v.2

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. v. 2
It's argued that more funds should be allocated to the traffic infrastructure rather than public transport systems. Personally, I think both thoroughfare and public transport systems have vital roles to play in modern society, and therefore should be equal. On the one hand, better roads increase the levels of safety and reduces traffic congestion. As many accidents happen due to lack of adequate road infrastructure. Moreover, wider roads and a large number of highways can ease congestion in densely populated areas. For example, If roads are wider in areas like Slums of Mumbai, it will lead to smooth running of vehicles there and it will also prove helpful in saving the time of people. Because they will not be stuck in a traffic jam. On the other hand, improved buses, trains and underground systems help in protecting the environment and benefit those who do not have their own vehicles. Public shipping is used by nearly 20 people's at one time. As a result, the number of personal vehicles is reduced on the path and environment is also protected from pollution. A research has proved that the level of toxins in the air is 20% less in the areas where masses prefer to use public transit. And it is also beneficial for those who have been migrated from one place to another and they don't have their personal means of transportation, and they use public means. In conclusion, I believe that government should spend money not only on the roads but public shipment also.
It's argued that more funds should
be allocated
to the traffic infrastructure
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport systems.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both thoroughfare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport systems have vital roles to play in modern society, and
therefore
should be equal.

On the one hand, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
increase the levels of safety and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
traffic congestion.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
accidents happen due to lack of adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
infrastructure.
Moreover
, wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
highways can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
congestion in
densely
populated areas.
For example
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are wider in areas like Slums of Mumbai, it will lead to smooth running of vehicles there and it will
also
prove helpful in saving the time of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they will not
be stuck
in a traffic jam.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
buses, trains and underground systems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in protecting the environment and benefit those who do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
shipping is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
nearly
20
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's at one time.
As a result
, the number of personal vehicles is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
on the path and environment is
also
protected from pollution.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
has proved that the level of toxins in the air is 20% less in the areas where masses prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit. And it is
also
beneficial for those who have
been migrated
from one place to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
another and
they don't have their personal means of transportation, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means.

In conclusion
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
shipment
also
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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