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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year. While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides of view. v.1

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year. While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. v. 1
Over the years there has been a dramatic increase in the number of serious crimes being committed. While some people are of the opinion that capital punishment is the best way to tackle this problem, others disagree. In other opinion, other measures are required to reduce the crime rates. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail. Capital punishment will certainly deter at least some people from committing heinous crimes. For example, a study in the US found that the rate of serious crimes in states that implement capital punishment is considerably lower than the crime rate in states that do not have capital punishment. This is clearly an indication that people are afraid of getting executed and that fear helps to reduce the crime rate. However, capital punishment alone will not reduce the crime rates. If that was the case, then most countries should be free of serious crimes now because death penalty is still given in the majority of developed and developing countries. Therefore, the argument that other measures are also required to reduce crime certainly holds water. One of the main reasons of increasing crime rates is the easy access to firearms. For example, many countries have liberal laws that allow almost everyone to own firearms. Crime rates are certainly high in countries like the United States in spite of the fact that they have an efficient penal system. If the US restricted the possession of guns, perhaps that alone would reduce the crime rates in that country. The government also needs to investigate the factors that compel people to commit crimes. In poor and developing nations poverty and unemployment are the main causes of increasing crime rates. If the government creates more jobs, the crime rate will automatically reduce. In conclusion, there are several reasons behind increasing crime rates. Although some people insist that death penalty is the best way to tackle the problem, I agree with the argument that other measures are also required.
Over the years there has been a dramatic increase in the number of serious
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crimes
being committed
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is the best way to tackle this problem, others disagree. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail.

Capital
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punishment
will
certainly
deter at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For example
, a study in the US found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in states that implement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
considerably
lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in states that do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. This is
clearly
an indication that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are afraid of getting executed and that fear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
alone will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. If that was the case, then most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be free of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
death penalty is
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the majority of developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures are
also
required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
certainly
holds water.

One of the main reasons of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
is the easy access to firearms.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have liberal laws that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
almost everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
firearms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are
certainly
high in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the United States
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that they have an efficient penal system. If the US restricted the possession of guns, perhaps that alone would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
needs to investigate the factors that compel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. In poor and developing nations poverty and unemployment are the main causes of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
creates more jobs, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.

In conclusion
, there are several reasons behind increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that death penalty is the best way to tackle the problem, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures are
also
required.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year. While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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