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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent many people believe that other measures will be needed Discuss the both views v.2

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent many people believe that other measures will be needed Discuss the both views v. 2
The number of criminals is growing extremely year by year. It is argued by some that people who commit brutal crimes should be punished by death while others think that other approaches are better to tackle the growth. This essay will consider both sides with detail in following paragraphs. On the one hand, some people believe that the best measure is that offenders have to die for their horrible action. In other words, capital punishments prevent the serious crimes and discourage people who try to commit because they afraid of execution and know bad results. For example, a recent study found that, in the US, states which implement capital sentence have lower rate of crimes than others which do not use this type of punishment. Therefore, it suggested by some that death penalty is the only proper way to reduce increase of offenses On the other hand, other measures are required to decrease the number of crimes. Many people think that this approach is more effective and saves life of someone who might not be guilty. Because capital punishment has possibility to punish innocent people, resulting in destroy their family, future life and real criminal would be free in society. In addition, applying other ways such as restricting firearm and improving control lead to less crime. Thus, most of the public believe that this measure can stop the increase of serious actions. In conclusion, there are several reasons behind rising crime rates. Although some people insist that death penalty is the best way to solve the problem, I agree with the argument that other measures are also needed.
The number of criminals is growing
extremely
year by year. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who commit brutal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should
be punished
by death while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
approaches are better to tackle the growth. This essay will consider both sides with detail in following paragraphs.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is that offenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
for their horrible action. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, capital punishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who try to commit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You miss the verb here. You should rather write: "they're afraid".
they afraid
of execution and know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results.
For example
, a recent study found that, in the US, states which implement capital sentence have lower rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
than others which do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this type of punishment.
Therefore
, it suggested by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that death penalty is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
proper way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
increase of offenses

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are required
to decrease the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this approach is more effective and saves life of someone who might not be guilty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
capital punishment has possibility to punish innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, resulting in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their family, future life and real criminal would be free in society.
In addition
, applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways such as restricting firearm and improving control lead to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Thus
, most of the public believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the increase of serious actions.

In conclusion
, there are several reasons behind rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that death penalty is the best way to solve the problem, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are
also
needed.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent many people believe that other measures will be needed Discuss the both views v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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