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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent many people believe that other measures will be needed Discuss the both views v.1

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent many people believe that other measures will be needed Discuss the both views v. 1
In the salad days of millenniums, there is a heated argument over the issue that, there are several types used in advertising are improper as well as an acceptable in the Modern World. A Lion's share in its Favour however, the rest Go adverse it. The following paragraphs shed light on my personal perspective a Long wide and opt example. To commence with the first notion that, many of the advertisements are Spread awareness around our society. First and foremost, the advertisement Show clear information about the particular Product of goods in the market for consumer satisfaction. Therefore, Secondly, some of the Adds use popular personality to influence people to buy their material. As a result, these kind of commercial activities helps to customers as well as Salesman. Adding furthermore, by watching Adds on TV, internet and Side by roads put impact on people mindset. On the other hand, there are some critics for Adds which are not acceptable at All such as showing dangerous stunts by car or motorbike in thumbs up commercial. Consequently, it makes bad Impression on Youngsters Mind that by consuming this drink anyone would be capable of performing dangerous stunts. Moreover, by looking actors on TV they are consumed fast food, cold drinks and chocolates. So, its try to attract the small juveniles to buy these items. As a result, children did not take the homemade food instead of junk items. Last but not the least, many advertisements are fake nowadays and they sell worst materials to people. In conclusion, I am of the Opine that all the glitters are not gold and human being should not trust on the Advertisement.
In the salad days of millenniums, there is a heated argument over the issue that, there are several types
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in advertising are improper
as well
as an acceptable in the Modern World. A Lion's share in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'Favour' is British English.
Favour
however
, the rest Go adverse it. The following paragraphs shed light on my personal perspective a Long wide and opt example.

To commence with the
first
notion that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are Spread
awareness around our society.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
information about the particular Product of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the market for consumer satisfaction.
Therefore
,
Secondly
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Adds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
popular personality to influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their material.
As a result
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of commercial activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to customers
as well
as Salesman. Adding
furthermore
, by watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Adds
on TV, internet and Side by roads put impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mindset.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Adds
which are not acceptable at All such as showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
stunts by car or motorbike in thumbs up commercial.
Consequently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Impression on Youngsters Mind that by consuming this drink anyone would be capable of performing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
stunts.
Moreover
, by looking actors on TV they
are consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
drinks and chocolates.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, its try to attract the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
juveniles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these items.
As a result
, children did not take the homemade food
instead
of junk items. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are fake
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nowadays and
they sell
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
materials to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I am of
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'Opine' is correct. If 'Opine' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the Opine
that all the glitters are not gold and human being should not trust on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes being committed each year While some think that the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent many people believe that other measures will be needed Discuss the both views v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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