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Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced? v.11

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced? v. 11
The predicament of violence being portrayed in the media constitutes one of many social issues prevalent in modern society. Consequently, due to the ineffective of age restriction policies in many countries, communities around the globe face serious challenges as a result of improper concepts on television. No doubt, meaningful changes must be made such as stricter parental supervision and improved government censorship department in order to make reasonable headway into this dilemma. The predominance of aggressive acts on TV often causes negative impacts on the behavior of those who watch it occasionally. Clearly, one example of this is that children are likely to mimic what they see onscreen. Needless to say, if kids are constantly exposed to highly violent contents, then these young minds will become desensitized to violence and perhaps develop a desire to repeat the same actions. Simply, entertainment programs romanticize the gangster life which then could result in an increase in criminal activities of the youth. Moreover, it will affect the way offspring interacts with other people such as conflicts with peers, disobeying parents and so on. In addition, while these shows can be interesting to watch, nonetheless, the harm caused by the exploitation of brutality by filmmakers can certainly surpass the amusement benefits. In order to fix these problems governments should strengthen their censorship policies. Furthermore, parents should be informed of the dilemma and how to avoid it. This will likely bring a reduction in crime rate and more appropriate contents for citizen. Finally, everyone must acknowledge the difference between the virtual world onscreen and reality. In sum, high levels of violence in movies is a problem that has been around for some time. While this is true, due to creation of aggression and boorishness, the need to address this issue has never been more important. What is needed is better parental control and stricter programming laws
The predicament of violence
being portrayed
in the media constitutes one of
many
social issues prevalent in modern society.
Consequently
, due to
the ineffective of
age restriction policies in
many
countries, communities around the globe face serious challenges
as a result
of improper concepts on television. No doubt, meaningful
changes
must
be made
such as stricter parental supervision and
improved
government
censorship department in order to
make
reasonable headway into this dilemma.

The predominance of aggressive acts on TV
often
causes
negative
impacts on the behavior of those who
watch
it
occasionally
.
Clearly
, one example of this is that children are likely to mimic what they
see
onscreen. Needless to say, if kids are
constantly
exposed to
highly
violent contents, then these young minds will become desensitized to violence and perhaps develop a desire to repeat the same actions.
Simply
, entertainment programs romanticize the gangster life which then could result in an increase in criminal activities of the youth.
Moreover
, it will affect the way offspring interacts with other
people
such as conflicts with peers, disobeying parents and
so
on.
In addition
, while these
shows
can be interesting to
watch
, nonetheless, the harm caused by the exploitation of brutality by filmmakers can
certainly
surpass the amusement benefits.

In order to
fix
these problems
governments
should strengthen their censorship policies.
Furthermore
, parents should
be informed
of the dilemma and how to avoid it. This will likely bring a reduction in crime rate and more appropriate contents for citizen.
Finally
, everyone
must
acknowledge the difference between the virtual world onscreen and reality.

In sum, high levels of violence in movies is a problem that has been around for
some
time. While this is true, due to creation of aggression and boorishness, the need to address this issue has never been more
important
. What
is needed
is better parental control and stricter programming
laws
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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