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Some people believe that prison is not an effective method of reducing crime, while others feel it helps to stop criminals from re-offending. Discuss both views, and present your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that prison is not an effective method of reducing crime, while others feel it helps to stop criminals from re-offending. v. 2
Prison is a widely-recognized technique of cutting crime in many countries. Lots of people claim that putting criminals behind bars isn’t a very efficient method; while on the other hand, there are clearly some advantages. Many argue that jail is an act of “pouring money down the drain” because it’s mostly government-funded, which means that while Incarcerated, convicts will receive three hots and a cot, that was paid by the tax of working class people. Another weakness of prison is that it enables criminals to interact with each other. For instance, they will be influenced by different atrocious ideas and might become more professional criminals when they got released. Despite these negatives effects, prison can stop lawbreakers from committing crime, this helps improving living conditions. Moreover, it can be used as a scare tactic to deters to future criminals. If children acknowledge the fact that crime does not pay, this will lessen their potential of becoming a villain. Needless to say, it is better to keeps outlaws locked up and monitored rather than letting them freely violate every single rule out there. In addition, the idea of prison is simple and easy to adapt to most communities. In conclusion, there can be no doubt that there are strengths and weaknesses to this concept; however, it is obvious that prison reduces criminal activity in various crime-ridden countries. Its efficiency and ease of use has helped youngsters and adults to sleep better on their bed with less worries. Therefore, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
is a
widely
-recognized technique of cutting crime in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
behind bars isn’t a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient method; while
on the other hand
, there are
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that jail is an act of “pouring money down the drain”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-funded, which means that while Incarcerated, convicts will receive three hots and a cot, that
was paid
by the tax of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Another weakness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is that it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to interact with each other.
For instance
, they will
be influenced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
atrocious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and might become more professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
released.

Despite these negatives effects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
lawbreakers from committing crime, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to improve" or "improve".
improving
living conditions.
Moreover
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a scare tactic to deters to future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. If children acknowledge the fact that crime does not pay, this will lessen their potential of becoming a villain. Needless to say, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
outlaws locked up and monitored
rather
than letting them
freely
violate every single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out there.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is simple and easy to adapt to most communities.

In conclusion
, there can be no doubt that there are strengths and weaknesses to this concept;
however
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity in various crime-ridden countries. Its efficiency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
youngsters and adults to sleep better on their bed with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun worries is countable.
less
worries.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that prison is not an effective method of reducing crime, while others feel it helps to stop criminals from re-offending. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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