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Some people believe that prison is not an effective method of reducing crime, while others feel it helps to stop criminals from re-offending. Discuss both views, and present your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that prison is not an effective method of reducing crime, while others feel it helps to stop criminals from re-offending. v. 1
As a result of the growth of supermarkets in some countries, many local businesses have died out. Some people argue that without local business, local communities will not exist. In my opinion, even though the closure of regional enterprises may bring some difficulties to the local community, it will not endanger their existence. Lack of traditional retail stores in a locality may pose some problems for the local population. People have to travel to the nearest shopping centre to get the items. It is a more expensive and time consuming activity compared to getting the items from local shops. In addition to this, in case of any emergency, when people do not have much time to waste to get the item, lack of local shops may put them in more trouble. For example, if some visitors turn up unexpectedly, the presence of small stores nearby will help people to treat them adequately. Even though local population has to encounter certain difficulties due to the lack of small retail stores, it will not affect their existence. In the modern society, there are many supermarkets and shopping malls in all towns and cities. And also, people love to travel to these places and enjoy their shopping. In fact, in the current society, people prefer to buy items from supermarkets and shopping malls as these places offer many facilities such as cinema halls and restaurants for people to enjoy. Cheap transportation modes are also available to go to nearby shopping centres. In conclusion, although the closure of regional shops may affect the local population negatively to a small extent, it will not threaten their existence.
As a result
of the growth of supermarkets in
some
countries,
many
local
businesses have
died
out.
Some
people
argue that without
local
business,
local
communities will not exist. In my opinion,
even though
the closure of regional enterprises may bring
some
difficulties to the
local
community, it will not endanger their existence.

Lack of traditional retail stores in a locality may pose
some
problems for the
local
population.
People
have to
travel to the nearest
shopping
centre
to
get
the
items
. It is a more expensive and
time consuming
activity compared to getting the
items
from
local
shops.
In addition
to this, in case of any emergency, when
people
do not have much time to waste to
get
the
item
, lack of
local
shops may put them in more trouble.
For example
, if
some
visitors turn up
unexpectedly
, the presence of
small
stores nearby will
help
people
to treat them
adequately
.

Even though
local
population
has to
encounter certain difficulties due to the lack of
small
retail stores, it will not affect their existence. In the modern society, there are
many
supermarkets and
shopping
malls in all towns and cities. And
also
,
people
love
to travel to these places and enjoy their
shopping
. In fact, in the
current
society,
people
prefer to
buy
items
from supermarkets and
shopping
malls as these places offer
many
facilities such as cinema halls and restaurants for
people
to enjoy.
Cheap
transportation modes are
also
available to go to nearby
shopping
centres
.

In conclusion
, although the closure of regional shops may affect the
local
population
negatively
to a
small
extent, it will not threaten their existence.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that prison is not an effective method of reducing crime, while others feel it helps to stop criminals from re-offending. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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