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There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives. v. 2
in my opinion, maintain a close relationship with distinct relatives is not really essential in our daily life. I partly agree with this opinion. In this essay, I am going to explain about this idea carefully by giving more details. Nowadays, people are stressed out with their busy and pressure life so it is difficult for them to maintain unnecessary affair, especially with unsimilar family members. Usually, preserve a connection with those don’t provide you comfortable when communicate may lead you to the feeling of unwanted and tiredness. Therefore, you won’t feel satisfied when meet them anymore, because of distinct idea and lifestyle. For instance, probably you never want to be a good friend with your wacky and unusual cousin, who is much different from you, a traditional person. As a result, trying to maintain good and close affair with distinct relatives may provide you intolerable and unbearable emotion. However, it is disrespectful if you behave indecorously with your relative by spurn them. In many countries, it seems to be that children should be amiably with everyone in their family, never mind that if they have a close relationshipaffair with them not. Being generous with everyone in your family not just represent that you are educated, but also your family breeding. This opinion invisibly makes children, in particular teenagers feel unsatisfied and distasteful in family meetings. Altogether, being a perfect person with your distinct family member is not an easy thing to do. In conclusion, everybody should not maintain an uncomfortable connection with your different family members. Otherwise, they ought to behave rightly with them as politely as possible.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
a close relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinct
relatives is not
really
essential in our daily life. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. In this essay, I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
carefully
by giving more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out with their busy and pressure life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is difficult for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
unnecessary affair,
especially
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsimilar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Usually
, preserve a connection with those don’t provide you comfortable when communicate may lead you to the feeling of unwanted and tiredness.
Therefore
, you won’t feel satisfied when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them anymore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lifestyle
.
For instance
,
probably
you never want to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friend with your wacky and unusual cousin, who is much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from you, a traditional person.
As a result
, trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and close affair with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinct
relatives may provide you intolerable and unbearable emotion.

However
, it is disrespectful if you behave
indecorously
with your relative by spurn them. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, it seems to be that children should be
amiably
with everyone in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, never mind that if they have a close
Possible spelling mistake found.
relationshipaffair
with them not. Being generous with everyone in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
represent that you
are educated
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
breeding. This opinion
invisibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
children,
in particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
feel unsatisfied and distasteful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
meetings. Altogether, being a perfect person with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member is not an easy thing to do.

In conclusion
, everybody should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
an uncomfortable connection with your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Otherwise
, they ought to behave
rightly
with them as
politely
as possible.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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