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There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives Do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives v. 2
Families have been considered as phenomenon for human development since the creation of the civilization. The issue of the necessity for constant communication with kins who reside remotedly has always aroused heated disputes. I completely disagree with the above-mentioned opinion and believe the more friends and relatives one possesses the more successful they are. Many arguments can be found in favour of the view that supporting intimacy in an extended family is vital. For instance, folks could undertake successful collaboration which would be possibly nurtured to a global corporation as Auchan or Ford. Clan associations are oftentimes widespread and famed throughout the world. About 700 blood-related and their partners work for Auchan and manage the assets. Launching an enormous family business is achievable, although the internal relationships should be indestructible. Apart from that people tend to confide in strangers less than in family members. Therefore individuals fess secrets and request help presuming to encounter support in its entirety from them. In other words, person will less hesitate to ask for aid and consequently acquire it faster. A well-known practice that the first people are called after a car accident are relatives. Building strong ties is crucial because human often depends on others and their decisions and assistance. All things considered, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that a prosperous person make every effort to erect solid connections with remote family members. They may become reliable business partners or rescuers during complicated circumstances or play another significant role in someone' s life.
Families
have
been considered
as phenomenon for human development since the creation of the civilization. The issue of the necessity for constant communication with
kins
who reside
remotedly
has always aroused heated disputes. I completely disagree with the above-mentioned opinion and believe the more friends and relatives one possesses the more successful they are.

Many
arguments can
be found
in
favour
of the view that supporting intimacy in an extended
family
is vital.
For instance
, folks could undertake successful collaboration which would be
possibly
nurtured to a global corporation as
Auchan
or Ford. Clan associations are oftentimes widespread and famed throughout the world. About 700 blood-related and their partners work for
Auchan
and manage the assets. Launching an enormous
family
business is achievable, although the internal relationships should be indestructible.

Apart from that
people
tend to confide in strangers less than in
family
members.
Therefore
individuals fess secrets and request
help
presuming
to encounter support in its entirety from them.
In other words
, person will less hesitate to
ask for
aid and
consequently
acquire it faster. A well-known practice that the
first
people
are called
after a car accident are relatives. Building strong ties is crucial
because
human
often
depends on others and their decisions and assistance.

All things considered, the obvious conclusion to
be drawn
is that a prosperous person
make
every effort to erect solid connections with remote
family
members. They may become reliable business partners or rescuers during complicated circumstances or play another significant role in
someone&
#039; s life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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