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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to celebrate major events, it’s better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relatives are invited. v.135

In order to celebrate major events, it’s better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relatives are invited. v. 135
The reasons for studying a new language are questionable. Some, think it is needed just to travel and get a job abroad. Meanwhile, I am of the opinion that there are other aspects of learning a foreign language that can be advantageous for people all around the world. In this essay I will discuss both views. Many believe that knowing the language of the country where you live and work in is needed to communicate in all practical aspects of life and it is also required to apply for a job. For instance, a French physician living and working in England has to know English to communicate not only with local patients and nurses, but also to rent an apartment and to buy food at the grocery store. In spite of this, there are other reasons for learning a new language. The first one is to keep up with the advances of our profession. For example, a great amount of medical guidelines, scientific research articles and newspapers are written in a different language than ours. The second reason is to make new friends online. For example, there are some particular social media platforms which are only in Spanish or German so whoever wants to connect through them has to understand these languages well. In conclusion, whereas the two main reasons to learn a foreign language are working and visiting abroad, I believe it is also needed to keep up-to-date at work and to communicate with friends online. Thus, languages should be taught in every school, university and in job offices as part of the regular program to improve people's professional and social skills
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for studying a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are questionable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to travel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job abroad. Meanwhile, I am of the opinion that there are other aspects of learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that can be advantageous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world. In this essay I will discuss both views.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of the country where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in
is needed
to communicate in all practical aspects of life and it is
also
required to apply for a job.
For instance
, a French physician living and working in England
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know English to communicate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with local patients and nurses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to rent an apartment and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food at the grocery store.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for learning a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. The
first
one is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the advances of our profession.
For example
, a great amount of medical guidelines, scientific research articles and newspapers
are written
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
than ours. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends online.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular social media platforms which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in Spanish or German
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
whoever wants to connect through them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
understand these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
well.

In conclusion
, whereas the two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to learn a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are working and visiting abroad, I believe it is
also
needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up-to-date at work and to communicate with friends online.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should
be taught
in every school, university and in job offices as part of the regular program to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's professional and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to celebrate major events, it’s better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relatives are invited. v. 135

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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